Earth Babies Blog

A while ago I wrote about change and how i cope (or dont) with it – well the last lack of blogging is evidence of my inability to cope with change – especially that type of change that leaves you hanging and not sure what next.
I have been very demotivated and scatterbrained and totally lost focus the last while but have decided it is time to “ruk myself reg” and get posting again.

For full article visit Jozikids Blog

In deciding when they get to stay home I think each parent differs. I am relatively relaxed about it in that I do let them miss an occasional day of school. When would I let them skip? The obvious is if they feel ill, less obvious would be when something fun or interesting is happening or on those days when they really, really don’t want to go (which is not often) – they are after all only in preschool at this stage and I see no reason to already make school going a forced chore rather than a fun choice. I will admit that some days I insist they go to school as I know once they are there they have fun. It is just the drop and release that is an issue (I hate days like that). We will re-evaluate this approach when formal schooling starts but I think I will still be occasionally flexible on this. I have never regarded a perfect attendance record as being the ultimate. I see little value in it as I don’t think it shapes the child as a more responsible individual and children can also learn valuable lessons out of the school setting.

Change Meaning and Definition

(v. t.) A passing from one phase to another; as, a change of the moon.
(v. t.) To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another; as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance.
(v. i.) To be altered; to undergo variation; as, men sometimes change for the better.
(v. t.) Any variation or alteration; a passing from one state or form to another; as, a change of countenance; a change of habits or principles.

How do you handle change, does it throw you, excite you, simply take it in your stride?

I don’t do well with change. My gut reaction to any change is to fight it with everything i have till I can fight no more and then i will accept and move on – makes no sense why not just skip the fight part!?

Change makes me feel unhappy and unsettled (even if the change is in fact a good one). Some people find my reaction to change specifically positive change difficult to understand (aversion to negative change is kind of acceptable) – but merely the fact that because something around me has changed means that I HAVE to change how i do or relate to things and this is what is unsettling. I did not ask for the change, hardly ever expect the change and yet with no warning, request or support I am meant to accept it and go with it.

I think I am getting better about change though as I have in the past few years had quite a bit of practice.

My little family is again on the brink of change – we will be moving sometime in the new year. The glitch is I don’t know where too – we are still waiting to see where hub will work next and the chances of it being here are minimal. Despite not knowing where the change will take us I am a little excited about it.

But I have come to realise that though this kind of change does not upset me like it used to other change still knocks me spinning. A friend of mine has in the last months gone through many changes in her immediate circumstances and the roll-over of these changes though I have tried my best to be supportive have thrown me and I have realised I have been fighting them trying to keep things as they were because it is what I know and feel safest with rather than simply accepting and moving along with them. They are not bad changes simply things that were to me unexpected and different. I had let the years of knowing her create a little box and the idea of that box changing form threw me – I and others I think need to let go, forget, accept and love.

I lLike these quotes and tips (if you follow the link to next page) on dealing with change and stress – think I need to remind myself of these.

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
Lin Yutang

(got this by email a long time ago)

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

I have a wish list for what I would like added to humans through the evolution process – I know I will miss out on the benefits but it is my wish for the generations of mothers to come.

You would think the process would have started centuries ago as I am sure mothers since the beginning of time have been experiencing the same issues. Who cares if we start looking a little weird if it makes life more pleasant lol

Mothers need
1. an extra pair of arms.
2. more patience
3. eyes in the back of their heads
4. A little down time button where you get 10 minutes of seeing,hearing and feeling nothing while you reboot

Children need
1. a volume dial
2. ears that actually work
3. the ability to sleep without waking for min of 10 hours solid at night
4. a better sense of self preservation – (maybe only mine need this but if i say leave me alone for a little bit please that they actually realise that I really really really need them to give me 10 minutes alone).
5. An instant understanding and acceptance of the meaning no and stop.
6. no whine tone to their voice and no need to repeat themselves over and over.
7. patience.

So what would you add to the list … we can all dream Ü

I know if we got half the things I wish for children, then children would not be children and we would probably miss out on so much of the other special things about them but at the moment my tired brain says “I could live with that!”.

On Saturday past Sally and I thought it would be fun to take part in the 5km Walk against Breast Cancer held at the Johannesburg Zoo.

We pre-registered, I thought this would make things easier in terms of just being able to show your registration papers and going in vs standing in lines to pay on the day. And I have to admit the promise of a goodie bag for pre-registrations also appealed. (Ironically it would have been much less stress and faster to have simply paid on the day)

We took our kids (brave Sally took 4 – her own and 2 friends) with because it was at the zoo, would be a fun family day out (I had done the same distance with the kids before at the Pretoria zoo so knew it was doable as the animals kept the kids entertained and motivated) and we would be supporting a worthwhile and close to home cause. I kindly invited husband dear along as it was going to be nice to do as a family …. bliss.

Sadly the reality fell a bit short of our ideas and intentions. There were 1000’s on 1000’s of people that attended. We got stuck in very slow traffic around the zoo, ended up after lots of driving around having to park 3 blocks away on a pavement and walk to the registration area.

Sally was already in the lines to get their entry tickets and bags (thanks to her beautiful pink hair, we found them in the masses quite easily). The sign in process had been divided into groups according to your surnames and Sally was right at the back of an incredibly long 3 person deep line for A-D’s.

We pushed, maneuvered and probably pissed people off with our 2 kids and a pram through the aimless milling crowds to first go to the toilet (desperation called) before searching for the end of the line of our own long line of 3 people deep j-l group. Thankfully our line was not as long as Sally’s and we were well ahead of her.

More than an hour+ later – about a half hour past the walks starting time; after some crying and moaning (mostly by the children) and a placating sucker each for breakfast we got to the front of the line to pick up our little pink tickets, have our names checked off their list and get our goodie bags which basically were Avon & Justine Marketing material, an old edition of Shape magazine and a T-shirt each (not even in the size requested in the preregistration) we were done – amazingly at the same time as Sally.

Once inside we realised that the walk did not even take place within the relative safety of the zoo but was actually out on the road, we decided that we had done our part (the hardest part) for charity and were going to simply take the kids around the zoo than torture them further – they were already tired and miserable a 5km walk would not go down well.
The kids had fun in the end, was a nice enough morning BUT next year I will pay my fee and NOT go to the walk. Maybe when my children are all grown up and out of the house I will brave that experience again.

Breast Cancer Walk at the Zoo Fail
Female to Female

When I first thought of writing this blog I was thinking maybe I should just make Earth Babies the author and then people could look at Barbara and I and wonder who actually wrote it, but we have such distinct writing styles and really I am not embarrassed at all. So you can all look at me and wonder…

The topic of sex after birth and particularly natural child birth is a very sensitive one. Barbara and I have discusses blogging about this for a while. Today I got a delivery in the post which motivated me to actually write this, but we will get my delivery later. I can’t imagine one woman who has not wondered about the effect having a baby has had on her body, but most of us are too afraid to ask our partners if they feel a difference. I am sure any partner who values his life would not dare answer anything other than ‘No dear of course it has not made a difference’. Any deviation from this answer warrants castration with a blunt spoon. I know I never asked my husband when we were still together.

Nagging doubt, the general rock bottom sex drive that happens post kids, and server sleep deprivation can leave a woman feeling anything but sexy and actually rather vulnerable. I wonder if all these lost sex drives are off on a beach somewhere enjoying themselves, maybe they are with the missing socks, unlikely combination but you know anything is possible. Or perhaps they just go and find some teenager to torment.

Slogan like ’save the beaver have a caesar’ don’t help much either. There is even a Facebook group dedicated to this! I have seen some pretty vicious nasty debates on the topic thrown around parenting chat forums. The truth is that it actually does not matter what type of birth you have the process of pregnancy, vaginal birth , aging, being over weight and major abdominal surgery such as cesarean section, often result in the weakening of the pelvic floor muscles. During pregnancy woman are all told to exercise this group of muscles, commonly known as Kegel exercises, and because it can be done discreetly you can do it while waiting in a queue in the bank, driving, sitting at your desk at work, brushing your teeth, you can even do them while talking to your church minister! In fact the idea is to have one set place that you always do them, like when brushing your teeth as they then become part of your normal routine, but if you are anything like me you forget.

The aim of Kegel exercises is to build up muscle tone by strengthening the pubococcygeus muscles of the pelvic floor. Kegel exercises are said to be good for treating vaginal prolapse and preventing uterine prolapse. They may be beneficial in treating urinary incontinence and best of all also increase sexual gratification.

This article explains Kegels’s in deatail How to strengthen pelvic floor muscles

At home school group this week we got talking about sex and natural birth and one of the moms talked about the Ben Wa Balls otherwise known as Luna Ball, geisha ball, love balls. She was just saying how they really do help and that your control of your orgasm is better and can even lead to multiple orgasms.

I decided to get some, seemed worth a try and these are what I got

I ordered on line from Matilda’s the services was very good and they arrived the next day. See me as your own blogging guinea pig, once I have tried them out I will let you know how easy they are to use.

What is the difference between “global warming” and “climate change?”
(Global Warming Kid’s Pages)
“Global warming” refers to the increase of the Earth’s average surface temperature, due to a build-up of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. “Climate change” is a broader term that refers to long-term changes in climate, including average temperature and precipitation

The idea of climate change is not a foreign concept anymore – all of us have heard of it – there are ongoing arguments and studies as to whether global warming is due to our actions or the natural life cycle of the earth.
Whether we roll our eyes at the fuss or buy into the concern whole hog it is a concept our children will need to learn about.
Irrespective of what our take on it is, the approaches for helping are simple and logical from the stand point of teaching our children about our influence on our earth, the creatures on it and the resources we need for our daily living – it is our responsibility as parents to raise our children to be considerate, respectful and love this planet that allows us life.

The other day we took the kids to watch Earth (unfortunately I did not get to watch it all as it is a documentary so lost Kara’s attention as soon as the opening scenes of the polar bear babies moved on) but Rafe watched it all with his dad and enjoyed it.
Basically it is a documentary which demonstrates the effects of climate change by following three animal families and their amazing journeys across the planet. The imagery is beautiful, they share interesting facts about the animals and show effectively how climate change is affecting the animals, their source of food and in essence their very existence.
(2 other stunning kids movies, which though they don’t focus on climate change, take on the the subject of how our actions as humans are affecting the earth and animals are Happy feet and Wall-E)

Climate change can be a big concept to try and explain to children especially if like me you only grasp the basics, so I found some lovely sites specifically focused on children that can help you communicate it to them on their level.
There are many but I will only list a few (google is your friend Ü)

Cool kids for a Cool Climate – Projects, News, Stories

Twelve Really Important Things you can do to help stop global warming – nice explanations

Global Warming for kids which links to Hippo Works – Lovely little cartoon clips which address climate change and other environmental issues in short simple format easy for children (& those like me needing climate change for dummies) to understand.

For today Climate Change is the focus for Blog Action Day 2009 – more than 7000 bloggers have registered to participate. Go have a look and see what others have to say on this subject.

I wrote this article on Jozi kids about Halloween, you can read it here on their blog

I remember the dilemma I had when we went Trick-or-treating the first time when we lived in England, I try where possible to limit my kids sweet and sugar intake, but this was now sweet heaven a whole bag full of sticky delightful sweets. A kids dream come true. Should I just let them have the sweets and enjoy them or should I changed them from healthier snacks? In the end I thought you are only a kid once and sweets at Halloween are unlikely to kill them. All things in moderation I guess is the answer.

It does not stop me thinking I wish we could cut sugar out of our lives totally. I have read so much about it negative effects on our bodies. I read this article Sugar the Sweet Thief of Life a few years ago, it is a long read but quite scary to see what effect it has on our bodies, and ever since then I have wanted to get rid of it, but it is way easier said than done when I myself have a very sweet tooth.

I know I will never be able to cut sugar out all together as much as I would like to, maybe I just have to make peace with trying to limit it where I can and substitute with other snacks. I don’t want to be fanatical though as I think the forbidden always becomes more alluring to kids. So I guess a sweet overload at Halloween and other times like this is just part of the joys of growing up.