Earth Babies Blog

Archive for the ‘General’ Category

Strange topic for a ‘baby blog’ I suppose BUT babies, become children, become adults. What we teach them now is the basis for how they approach people in the future.
This contains lots of questions and I hope I get replies as I dont intend them as purely hypothetical. I am really curious how others see it – beyond the group I have discussed similar things with in the past (I tend to disagree with the approach of the majority).

What is your take on children being aware of colour? How do you approach it with your own children? Is recognising someone’s colour discrimination?

I think we are taking being Politically correct about colour way too far – I cannot tell you how many times people try claim that children “dont see colour” – Of course they see colour, they just dont care! But as adults trying to navigate the maze of rules as to what is ‘allowed and not’ we try to tell ourselves that they don’t see colour. Now if they can see that a boy has a blue shirt, or a girl has blonde hair – why would they not see that that skin colours differ?

What are we actually teaching our children by trying to make them stick everyone in one colourless box? Do YOU want to be colourless?

The whole colour PC issue is going the same way as the feminism movement, where in my opinion they lose focus of what is important. If we ignore colour we lose sight of all the wonderful unique attributes of people and actually I feel create a nation less tolerant of differences in culture ‘as we are all meant to be the same’. I WANT my children to recognize racial differences and learn to accept them. How do we expect children to learn about different cultures and respect them if we are teaching them in the first place not to recognise or acknowledge those differences?

For me respect is based in acceptance, and tolerance and not in being the same. Equality is based on respect and acceptance of others and not on overlooking differences.

Waldorf Doll:

Description from Wikipedia
A Waldorf doll (also called Steiner doll) is a form of doll used in Waldorf education. Made of wool and cotton, using techniques drawing on traditional European dollmaking, its appearance is intentionally simple in order to allow the child playing with it to improve or strengthen imagination and creativity. For instance, it has no facial expression. Its legs and arms are flexible, allowing natural postures.

Technique: Traditional Waldorf dolls are made from cotton interlock knit fabric and wool stuffing. They are often entirely natural. Typically the trademark long hair of a Waldorf doll is made of mohair or boucle. Some doll makers use alternative hair material such as: Wool, Rayon, and Cotton. The facial features of a Waldorf doll vary with the maker. Most Waldorf dolls have small suggestions of noses, their eye and mouth colors are generally varied with each doll.

(by Damaria Senne)

As you and your partner go through different stages of your life, so your love-making will change. At times it will be wonderful. At times it might be just okay. And sometimes, it may even be difficult. What’s important is that you always talk and listen to one another and do as much as possible to keep your sexual relationship working.

If you have a new-born baby, your sexual relationship might be difficult for 6 months or longer, says SoulSEX, a new 44-page sex guide published by the Soul City Institute.

This is really a time when talking, listening, caring and supporting one another is so important. You both need to be patient and understanding. After all, there is a tiny little person in your life.

A man needs to remember that a mother of a new-born baby is often sore after giving birth and her body needs to recover. She may also be tired from nights of being up with the baby and from breastfeeding. What’s more a man needs to understand the mother’s natural motherly feelings about giving her baby as much attention, love and care as possible.

Fathers can help look after babies. This will take some of the strain off the new mother.

A new mother needs to understand that the father of a new-born baby also wants her attention, love and care. What’s more, a woman needs to remember that today many fathers want to help with their new-born babies and don’t want to be left out.

Also, there are a few men who were present at the birth of their child who find that they very distressed by what they have seen. “Some of them feel so guilty at the pain their partner has gone through that they are unable to even consider the idea of making love with her again. This is usually just a passing phase, but not always,” says Dr David Delvin at netdoctor.com.uk. Fathers who feel like this should seek help from a counsellor to discuss his feelings, he says.

Will childbirth change your sex life?

Definitely, says Delvin. “Please don’t expect that everything will instantly return to normal. Men are particularly likely to believe this; a lot of young blokes think that they’ll be able to have intercourse as soon as their partner gets home from hospital. But that just isn’t true,” he says.

Dr Delvin notes that childbirth is a traumatic process for a woman. “Having a baby pass through her vagina is almost like having a small explosion go off inside her. The delicate vaginal tissues are inevitably strained, bruised and torn – and it takes some weeks for these injuries to heal up,” he says.

He adds that childbirth also involves very considerable hormone changes and emotional stress. As a result, very few women feel “rampagingly sexy until a long time after they have given birth,” he says.

However, a couple can engage in non-penetrative sex while they wait for the woman to heal. And that, too, can bring its own fun, and help the couple maintain a sexual closeness. For more details on some of the non-penetrative sexual activities you can do, download SoulSEX.
Also note that non-penetrative sexual activities should exclude cunnilingus for the first few weeks after childbirth, which could introduce infection into the vagina and womb.

Is sex going to be the same?

As previously mentioned in the introduction of this article, love-making will change as we go through various stages of our lives. However, that does not mean that it can’t be fun/as or even more rewarding than before childbirth. And yes, the vagina of a woman who had a natural childbirth will not go back to its original shape.

As Kelly Winder at Bellybelly.com.au notes: “The vagina is designed like a piano accordion – its actually designed to stretch open. Memories of trying to insert a tampon for the first time or the first sexual encounter may suggest to women that giving birth to a baby will be even worse. But the body is very capable and in fact designed to do this. Another help is that the baby is slippery, covered in vernix or at least wet with amniotic fluid. This lubrication will help the baby move through the birth canal.”
This means that the vagina is designed to stretch for childbirth and revert back to its original position afterwards, she says.

“The result of vaginal birth is an increase in blood supply to the area. This can result in women becoming more orgasmic after vaginal birth. This effect may be reduced if the pelvic floor is weak, however a women’s health physiotherapist can teach women how to correctly exercise these muscles to improve strength.”

Baby steps

According to Delvin, a couple should begin sexual intercourse gently after childbirth. If possible, try and find a time of the day when you are not too worn out, he says. Also, try to find a time when the baby is not likely to wake up, so you can have some peace and quiet.
“Hormone changes and worry can lead to some women experiencing vaginal dryness for the first three months after giving birth. But you don’t take hormones for this. Instead, buy lubricants over the counter from a pharmacist,” he says
He also notes that a couple should choose a position in which the woman can control the pace and depth of penetration for the first few sessions of sex after childbirth, A position with her on top, or one where both partners lie side-by-side facing each other, may be more comfortable, he says.

Lastly, here are some ideas stop your children walking in when you are making love:
• Lock the door
• Ask a friend to look after them when you arrange a special time for yourself as a couple
• Make love somewhere else (outside the home, for example0
• Make sure your children are fast asleep.

Download SoulSEX

Bio
Damaria Senne is a writer based in Johannesburg. She is the web content developer for OneLove (www.onelovesouthernafrica.org) , a 9-country regional campaign which aims to encourage people in Southern Africa to have one sexual partner. Damaria writes about her life as a writer at http://damariasenne.blogspot.com

A while ago I wrote about change and how i cope (or dont) with it – well the last lack of blogging is evidence of my inability to cope with change – especially that type of change that leaves you hanging and not sure what next.
I have been very demotivated and scatterbrained and totally lost focus the last while but have decided it is time to “ruk myself reg” and get posting again.

Too Much Coffee Man - Shannon Wheeler

Change Meaning and Definition

(v. t.) A passing from one phase to another; as, a change of the moon.
(v. t.) To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another; as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance.
(v. i.) To be altered; to undergo variation; as, men sometimes change for the better.
(v. t.) Any variation or alteration; a passing from one state or form to another; as, a change of countenance; a change of habits or principles.

How do you handle change, does it throw you, excite you, simply take it in your stride?

I don’t do well with change. My gut reaction to any change is to fight it with everything i have till I can fight no more and then i will accept and move on – makes no sense why not just skip the fight part!?

Change makes me feel unhappy and unsettled (even if the change is in fact a good one). Some people find my reaction to change specifically positive change difficult to understand (aversion to negative change is kind of acceptable) – but merely the fact that because something around me has changed means that I HAVE to change how i do or relate to things and this is what is unsettling. I did not ask for the change, hardly ever expect the change and yet with no warning, request or support I am meant to accept it and go with it.

I think I am getting better about change though as I have in the past few years had quite a bit of practice.

My little family is again on the brink of change – we will be moving sometime in the new year. The glitch is I don’t know where too – we are still waiting to see where hub will work next and the chances of it being here are minimal. Despite not knowing where the change will take us I am a little excited about it.

But I have come to realise that though this kind of change does not upset me like it used to other change still knocks me spinning. A friend of mine has in the last months gone through many changes in her immediate circumstances and the roll-over of these changes though I have tried my best to be supportive have thrown me and I have realised I have been fighting them trying to keep things as they were because it is what I know and feel safest with rather than simply accepting and moving along with them. They are not bad changes simply things that were to me unexpected and different. I had let the years of knowing her create a little box and the idea of that box changing form threw me – I and others I think need to let go, forget, accept and love.

I lLike these quotes and tips (if you follow the link to next page) on dealing with change and stress – think I need to remind myself of these.

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
Lin Yutang

(got this by email a long time ago)

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

I did not have a good night last night, thus the topic on my mind. It seems sleep is one of the main things that parents obsess about. My husband is currently working away from home and when we chat, our sleep from the previous night is one of the first topics of conversation – me being envious of his 3 nights a week un-child interrupted sleep and his I suppose being envious of us all sleeping in HIS bed (there is no bed like home they say).

I am one of those parents other new parents hate when they ask – “So when did they start sleeping through?” (the most common question asked by and of new parents).
Both my babies were absolute angels and slept ‘through’ (a solid 8-10 hours a night from about 6 weeks).
Rafe would go to sleep at about 11pm and sleep till 7am then wake for a feed and then we would sleep together till about 9am (Heaven, a well rested mom).
Kara would go to sleep at about 7pm (great some quality adult time not too late could be had), and sleep till around 4am then wake for a feed and then we would nap till about 6am – also good a nice earlier start to the day. Life with babies was all good.

BUT here is the twist in the tail. Both my children started waking more often the older they got – so where we got great sleep before, we are now getting very interrupted and sometimes little sleep … it is all a process though. I may moan about it, be grouchy on some days and have hissy-fits some nights when Kara decides at 2am we must get up now, but it is not something I would specifically try and change. They have their reasons for waking and needing to be close and if we give them what they need now maybe by 20+ they will be able to sleep on their own … or find a new bedpartner to kick awake.

We have some great articles on our site regarding sleep solutions – FAQ’s regarding sleep provided by Erica Neser and a range from the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley so if sleeplessness is really getting you down and you need some perspective and tips on how to improve things read these as a starting point.

Erica Neser is a South African author of Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers – I read her first release which was a slim guide, very easy to read for a sleep deprived mom and I got through it in a night. I liked it as it gave me immediate answers and also put into perspective that it was me (pre the 6 week onward sleep bliss) that had a sleep problem and not my baby. She touches on all the sleep solution approaches out there – some i personally would not use or encourage – but she does approach them all with the focus of being gentle, realistic and loving towards your baby which I liked.

Erica Neser Sleep Guide

Elizabeth Pantley is the author of a wonderful range of ‘No Cry’ parenting books – specifically The No Cry Sleep Solution – loved this book though I did read it when I no longer felt I had a problem and was not feeling so sleep deprived – it is a bit of a longer read but an approach to ’sleep training’ that i feel happy with and recommend this approach above all others when asked.

Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution

Why Compost?

Composting is one way that you can do your little bit to cut down the waste that goes to the landfill. New research has found that almost half of the food waste in their rubbish bins could have been put in the compost bin. You might be wondering why it is necessary to compost when the waste will break down on the landfill anyway.

On a landfill the volumes of waste are so great that air can not get to the organic waste, so as it breaks down it produces a harmful greenhouse gas, methane, which damages the earth atmosphere. At home when the same waste is composted above the ground, oxygen helps to decompose anaerobically which means that no dangerous methane is produced. So you are not only helping the planet but after about 9 months you get wonderful free fertilizer for your garden.

Composting at home for just one year can save global warming gases equivalent to all the CO2 your kettle produces annually, or your washing machine produces in three months.

What can you put on your compost heap?

THE GREEN: This list are quick to rot and provide essential nitrogen and moisture:
- Tea Bags
- Uncooked fruit and vegetable peelings and scraps
- Old flowers
- Coffee grounds and filter paper
- Old bedding plants
- Grass cuttings
-Salad leaves

THE BROWN: This is the slower to decompose, they provide carbon and fiber and allow air pockets to form
- Cardboard
- Egg boxes
- Egg Shells
- Scrunched up paper
- Fallen leaves
- Sawdust
- Twig, branches and bark

AVOID
these things are best to keep out of your compost heap

- Meat
- cooked vegetables
- dairy products
- diseased plants
- dog poo or cat litter
- nappies
- perennial weeds, or weeds with seed heads.

You need a good mix of Green and Brown for a healthy compost heap. I am not going to go into exact amounts as I find when something is too technical and too prescribed then people don’t even start as it sounds like too much effort. Aim for a good mix of the two. If it is too wet add some more Brown, if it looks a bit dry add some more Green. The Green items will contain bacteria that will generate the initial heat that is required by the process. A healthy compost bin is a living ecosystem. By keeping a good mix of green and brown material you will provide the perfect conditions for a variety of mini-beasts and can let them do all the hard work.

What equipment do you need?

I bought a lidded bucket from the local supermarket and have it handy in the kitchen so that collecting all the veggie and fruit peels, tea bag egg shell etc is really easy. The lid makes sure that the flies are not attracted to it and I empty it every few days.

A compost bin is not absolutely necessary and as long as you have a designated area all compost material will eventually break down. A bin however is a very nice to have compost tool as it helps keep everything in one place and is dark and hot which helps the decomposing process, limits the smell and make produces the compost faster. You can get compost bins from most garden or hardware stores.

When is the compost ready?

It takes about 6-9 months depending on the climate for the compost to totally decompose. You can also get compost activator to speed up the process but it is not totally necessary.
Once your compost has turned into a crumbly, dark material, resembling thick, moist soil and gives off an earthy, fresh aroma, you know it’s ready to use. Lift the bottom of the bin slightly or open the hatch at the bottom depending on the kind of bin you have. Scoop out the fresh compose with a spade or fork. Don’t worry if there are small twig or bits of egg shell still visible this is normal. You can now use this compost in your garden beds, on the lawn, in containers and in your vegetable garden.

This is the easy approach if you want the more technical stuff there are some links
Wikipedia
Compost guide - everything you ever need to know about home composting

So for red wrigglers and more about worms read tomorrows blog…

So I was thinking about how we give out green and eco tips but somethings thing are not as obvious as they seem. So the next few weeks I have thought of looking at some of these topics in more detail and try inspire you to make changes that are easy practicle and can have a big collective impact on caring for our environment.

The topics I have thought of are
1) Home composting
2) Earth worm
3) Home recycling
4) Water saving tips
5) Energy saving tips
6) Planting with kids
7) Bees – should we be worried
Organic food, why, what and where to buy it

If anyone can think of other things they want covered let me know.

I was asked to be Great Expectations Spring Day show last week. For those who don’t know the show it is a parenting show presented by Samantha Cowen. They wanted a mom who had walked the talk on all things natural, and while I am far from the perfect eco mom I agreed to go and talk about natural parenting and try to be green.

Surprisingly I was not even nearly as nervous on the day as I thought I would be. Once you get there it is off to make up. Wow I had more make up plastered on my face that day than I even had at my wedding. I was not even going to ask if the make up was natural or organic as I feared that I already knew the answer but I guess for one day it was not going to kill me. It felt so weird and when I watched myself of the show I can see in talking how conscious I was of the layer on my face. Once the hair was straightened and they declared us all pretty enough it was off to the set.

There are a few read through practices and we got to ask questions and figure out how it would all work. By the time it actually started it was all quite relaxed and we were having a good laugh.

Sam Cowen the GE presenter asked me how I landed up as a green parenting expert and I guess the answer is that it is a slow process. I started with researching natural birth and then came across other natural and more eco friendly idea. I started adding things as I went along. This is really the point I want to stress to people when it come to all things green. It is not that you have to change everything at once but rather that it is a process of adding things one at a time that you think you can manage and once you have one thing sorted and are used to the changes then you can look for more things to change.

I have been so encouraged by the positive response that natural and green parenting is getting here in South Africa. When I started Earth Babies 5 years ago people thought the idea of cloth nappies and natural parenting was quite mad, but at the last natural and organic show we did in June the response was over whelming. I was think we would really have to try drag people into the stall to hear about cloth nappies but in stead people were flock to us, they had heard about this new kind of nappy and wanted to know more. The change in attitude just to nappies was very very encouraging. And now being asked to be on a fairly mainstream parenting show has really left me with Great Expectation that an eco revolution is here!