Earth Babies Blog

Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Strange topic for a ‘baby blog’ I suppose BUT babies, become children, become adults. What we teach them now is the basis for how they approach people in the future.
This contains lots of questions and I hope I get replies as I dont intend them as purely hypothetical. I am really curious how others see it – beyond the group I have discussed similar things with in the past (I tend to disagree with the approach of the majority).

What is your take on children being aware of colour? How do you approach it with your own children? Is recognising someone’s colour discrimination?

I think we are taking being Politically correct about colour way too far – I cannot tell you how many times people try claim that children “dont see colour” – Of course they see colour, they just dont care! But as adults trying to navigate the maze of rules as to what is ‘allowed and not’ we try to tell ourselves that they don’t see colour. Now if they can see that a boy has a blue shirt, or a girl has blonde hair – why would they not see that that skin colours differ?

What are we actually teaching our children by trying to make them stick everyone in one colourless box? Do YOU want to be colourless?

The whole colour PC issue is going the same way as the feminism movement, where in my opinion they lose focus of what is important. If we ignore colour we lose sight of all the wonderful unique attributes of people and actually I feel create a nation less tolerant of differences in culture ‘as we are all meant to be the same’. I WANT my children to recognize racial differences and learn to accept them. How do we expect children to learn about different cultures and respect them if we are teaching them in the first place not to recognise or acknowledge those differences?

For me respect is based in acceptance, and tolerance and not in being the same. Equality is based on respect and acceptance of others and not on overlooking differences.

I doubt there is another title that comes with as much judgement as being a mother. Comparison, superiority, one upmanship, feelings of guilt and inferiority seem to be part of the package. I think the first year of being a mom is the most rough in this regard – everything feels personal. You have to wade through a bit of a swamp of your own opinions and those of others.

We all judge and feel judged (not always intentionally) – and a few years down the line when we have learnt our own lessons and become more flexible, we can no longer remember so clearly ‘how’ we used to think in that first see-sawing year of motherhood.

A friend posted this on a forum a while back – I had a good giggle as it could have been taken from quotes made over the past few years I have been chatting there from the subjects we have argued about, made statements and voiced opinions on.

Read through and then share your score (you dont have to say which ones they were ) of judgments made and judgements felt.

For full article visit Jozikids Blog

In deciding when they get to stay home I think each parent differs. I am relatively relaxed about it in that I do let them miss an occasional day of school. When would I let them skip? The obvious is if they feel ill, less obvious would be when something fun or interesting is happening or on those days when they really, really don’t want to go (which is not often) – they are after all only in preschool at this stage and I see no reason to already make school going a forced chore rather than a fun choice. I will admit that some days I insist they go to school as I know once they are there they have fun. It is just the drop and release that is an issue (I hate days like that). We will re-evaluate this approach when formal schooling starts but I think I will still be occasionally flexible on this. I have never regarded a perfect attendance record as being the ultimate. I see little value in it as I don’t think it shapes the child as a more responsible individual and children can also learn valuable lessons out of the school setting.

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
Lin Yutang

(got this by email a long time ago)

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

I have a wish list for what I would like added to humans through the evolution process – I know I will miss out on the benefits but it is my wish for the generations of mothers to come.

You would think the process would have started centuries ago as I am sure mothers since the beginning of time have been experiencing the same issues. Who cares if we start looking a little weird if it makes life more pleasant lol

Mothers need
1. an extra pair of arms.
2. more patience
3. eyes in the back of their heads
4. A little down time button where you get 10 minutes of seeing,hearing and feeling nothing while you reboot

Children need
1. a volume dial
2. ears that actually work
3. the ability to sleep without waking for min of 10 hours solid at night
4. a better sense of self preservation – (maybe only mine need this but if i say leave me alone for a little bit please that they actually realise that I really really really need them to give me 10 minutes alone).
5. An instant understanding and acceptance of the meaning no and stop.
6. no whine tone to their voice and no need to repeat themselves over and over.
7. patience.

So what would you add to the list … we can all dream Ü

I know if we got half the things I wish for children, then children would not be children and we would probably miss out on so much of the other special things about them but at the moment my tired brain says “I could live with that!”.

This weekend C (husband) and I had the treat of a night all to ourselves. Sally very kindly had both of my kids sleep over by her. I looked forward to it all week – I kept it as a surprise from C as it had been his birthday in the week and rather than going out i thought it would be nice to do a romantic evening at home. I spent the week preparing the children that they would be sleeping out and anticipating the joy of being child free for an entire night (Rafe has slept out but Kara had never).

We watched a dvd (early without having to first wait for the kids to go to sleep). We ate decadent food and dessert (everything our kids would never eat). We got to sit close to each other (no kids inbetween us). We got to make love where and when we wanted (no kids forcing a late night, stealth mode, too tired to do much encounter).

It was heaven and fun and felt like we were worry free and dating again … but you may have noticed a trend in the previous paragraph – yup after a bit I kept thinking of what the kids were doing or would be doing were they with us. At bed time i felt so heartsore that our house felt empty. I will not lie I LOVED my solid nights sleep, and loved being able to snuggle up to C through the night and in the early morning – it was however rather sad not waking to a little body pushing me off the bed and the normal range of morning drama and demands. It does appear as usual I missed them more than what they missed us.

I loved the time to ourselves, that precious time together that all parents need to reconnect BUT the best part of the evening was rediscovering that though I sometimes yearn for time away for my kids the yearn to be with them is stronger.

I have learnt a good lesson this year about my child, his ability to remember and his determination.
In December last year he got to interact at a party with a Roboraptor and fell in love. The young owner of this raptor was very kind to allow my then just turned 4 year old to play around it, control it and carry it – (much to the detriment of my ‘how will I afford to replace it if it breaks’ stress levels – it was big and heavy and way too expensive for a little guy).

Rafe asked time and time again that evening and the next day that I buy one for him – so eventually to stop him asking I said that it was very expensive and he was actually still too small for it but if we saved some money every month then maybe by next Christmas we would have enough to buy one. I thought he would obsess about saving for a day or two and forget all about it. How wrong i was – it is 10 months later and he still picks up every 5 cent he finds to put in his money box so he can buy his dinosaur. He may have no concept about monetary value BUT he definitely understands the value of money and saving. I am very proud of him and rightfully shamed at assuming his dreams are fickle.

He will be getting his Robot this Christmas – it is not new out of the box, I have managed to buy one second hand at what I feel is a good deal and the price is one that I think we can relax about and let him play with his toy rather than moan at him the whole time to be careful with it etc.

I am excited about this Christmas for the first time in very long – I know my son is going to not care what everyone else got and just be in love with what he got. Christmas is about more than the cost – I do know this but the cost of Christmas and not being able to take part like so many around us has always been a rather dark cloud of stress and disappointment over me.

When I’m an old lady, I’ll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness…just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they’ve provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they’ll be so excited!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I’ll bounce on the furniture…wearing my shoes.
I’ll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I’ll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they’ll shout!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they’re on the phone and just out of reach,
I’ll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they’ll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I’ll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I’ll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry…I’ll run…if I’m able!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll sit close to the TV, through the channels I’ll click,
I’ll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I’ll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud ’til the end of the day!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I’ll lay back and sigh,
I’ll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, “She’s so sweet when she’s sleeping!”

Not sure if I am a cheap skate, frugal or practical but I often end up rather making my own things than buying so thought i would share some of the winners in our home.

Long lasting Play dough
Kids of all ages never tire of playing with clay – there are some fantastic products on the market but they are pricey so if like me they are only bought as a treat then this recipe may come in handy.

1 cup flour
½ cup salt
1 cup water
1 Tsp oil
2 tsp cream of tartar
food colouring

Stir all ingredients together and cook over a medium/high heat for 5 minutes or until right consistency (comes away from the sides of pan and form a ball).
Store in an airtight container or plastic bag.

Bubble Recipe
The other thing that children never tire of is Bubbles – though with little ones they invariably spill most of the contents on the floor. This mix makes a large amount and is relatively cheap in comparison

1/2 cup of dishwashing liquid (good quality)
5 cups water (preferably soft water – if in a hard water area maybe use distilled or bottled water)
2 tablespoons glycerine (available at the pharmacy or supermarket)

Mix the ingredients together very carefully, so that you they don’t get too bubbly. Pour into storage containers and, if possible, leave overnight.

Bubble wands can be recycled from previous bought batches of bubbles (I save them), or make from wire, pipe cleaners (they do get soggy though), make a loop with your finger and thumb (messy but fun and effective), a straw makes teeny little bubbles.

Paper dolls
Remember how much fun we used to have with these! Why not reintroduce the idea to your little ones.
Barbie Doll
Variety of links for boys and girls

Face Paints
for my daughters 2nd birthday I had a face painting party – the kids LOVED it. It was messy and not so pretty by our standards but they had fun, painted themselves with such care and thought they were works of art.

Option 1:
(I made this recipe – I used Nivea cold cream but think plain aqueous would work as well and be more spreadable and much more economical)
1 tsp. Corn flour (Maizena)
½ tsp. Cold cream
½ tsp. Water
Food coloring (variety of colors)

NB. make the night before so the mixture can absorb and settle!
- Mix together corn flour and cream until well blended.
- Add water and stir. (the mixture looks a little curdled at this stage but by letting it stand the moisture in the cream absorbs the cornflour and settles to make a smooth paste).
- Divide into even amounts for colouring leave 1 white and add food colouring one drop at a time to the others until you get the desired colour.

Option 2 : (Not tested)

3 tblsps. Cornflour
1 tblsp. Flour
3/4 cup light corn syrup
1/4 cup water
½ tsp. Liquid food colouring

Mix cornflour and flour together in a bowl. Gradually stir in corn syrup and water until smooth. Divide mixture into individual containers as needed and tint each one with the food colouring of your choice. Leave one batch untinted.

I did not have a good night last night, thus the topic on my mind. It seems sleep is one of the main things that parents obsess about. My husband is currently working away from home and when we chat, our sleep from the previous night is one of the first topics of conversation – me being envious of his 3 nights a week un-child interrupted sleep and his I suppose being envious of us all sleeping in HIS bed (there is no bed like home they say).

I am one of those parents other new parents hate when they ask – “So when did they start sleeping through?” (the most common question asked by and of new parents).
Both my babies were absolute angels and slept ‘through’ (a solid 8-10 hours a night from about 6 weeks).
Rafe would go to sleep at about 11pm and sleep till 7am then wake for a feed and then we would sleep together till about 9am (Heaven, a well rested mom).
Kara would go to sleep at about 7pm (great some quality adult time not too late could be had), and sleep till around 4am then wake for a feed and then we would nap till about 6am – also good a nice earlier start to the day. Life with babies was all good.

BUT here is the twist in the tail. Both my children started waking more often the older they got – so where we got great sleep before, we are now getting very interrupted and sometimes little sleep … it is all a process though. I may moan about it, be grouchy on some days and have hissy-fits some nights when Kara decides at 2am we must get up now, but it is not something I would specifically try and change. They have their reasons for waking and needing to be close and if we give them what they need now maybe by 20+ they will be able to sleep on their own … or find a new bedpartner to kick awake.

We have some great articles on our site regarding sleep solutions – FAQ’s regarding sleep provided by Erica Neser and a range from the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley so if sleeplessness is really getting you down and you need some perspective and tips on how to improve things read these as a starting point.

Erica Neser is a South African author of Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers – I read her first release which was a slim guide, very easy to read for a sleep deprived mom and I got through it in a night. I liked it as it gave me immediate answers and also put into perspective that it was me (pre the 6 week onward sleep bliss) that had a sleep problem and not my baby. She touches on all the sleep solution approaches out there – some i personally would not use or encourage – but she does approach them all with the focus of being gentle, realistic and loving towards your baby which I liked.

Elizabeth Pantley is the author of a wonderful range of ‘No Cry’ parenting books – specifically The No Cry Sleep Solution – loved this book though I did read it when I no longer felt I had a problem and was not feeling so sleep deprived – it is a bit of a longer read but an approach to ’sleep training’ that i feel happy with and recommend this approach above all others when asked.