Earth Babies Blog

Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

answered by Erica Neser – South African author of Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers.

• What is the difference between normal baby sleep behaviour and a true sleep problem?

The reality is that most babies wake at night, even several times per night, for at least the first year, and often even until 3 years. Most babies wake on average 2–3 times at night until they are 6 months old, 1–2 times between 6–12 months, and once a night between 1–2 years. This is considered ‘normal’ sleep behaviour. Breastfed babies tend to feed more often than bottle-fed babies, both day and night, due to the fact that breastmilk – the ‘perfect food’ for babies – digests easily and quite quickly. A true sleep problem is where a baby wakes much more than these figures, stays awake for extended periods at night, is very hard to settle or does not sleep adequately during the day.

• What are the most common reasons for waking?

Loneliness (in other words, needing to be close to mother’s milk, warmth and protection), hunger, thirst, illness, teething, milestones such as crawling and walking, habit, too hot or too cold, needing a sleep association to be returned (e.g. Mummy’s loving arms, dummy etc.)

• What is the average age (as a guide) that one can realistically help them to sleep

Read the rest of this entry »

(I originally wrote this for @play in Cape Town)

“It takes two people to communicate – one to talk and the other to listen.”

Many of us live in a two language household – how to approach this is a concern. Do you only teach one language or do you raise them bilingual? If bilingual how do you approach this – do you each speak both languages, alternate from week to week or each parent speaks their mother tongue?

How to approach raising a bilingual child:
Read the rest of this entry »

One of the biggest stress factors of a newly pregnant couple is how are they going to afford all the ‘things’ babies need.
Do babies really need all the things that as new parents we get caught up in the stress of buying and affording? Are they really as expensive as we make them out to be or is it more a case of wants than needs?

Part of my original motivation of Earth Babies, was to try share with others a simpler, less stressful approach to parenting and lessen (for those open to it) that consumer push for more and more gadgets that babies ‘need’ (this makes me a very bad sales person as I am always trying to find a way to save someone money even when they are not concerned about this ).

Our baby start was very affordable as we got practically everything we needed pre-loved and gifted. The first time we needed to buy clothes for our son was after his 3rd birthday. The only baby item we needed to buy was a cot mattress.

What for you is a must have with babies?
What was your least used baby gadget that you bought?
How do you feel about using pre-loved items?

Modern babies are held as little as 20% of the day due to parents having various gadgets to ‘help’ – we shift them from cot to pram to bouncer to swing-chair to car-seat. No need to take them from the car-seat, simply take it with!

All of these devices are perceived as making a parent’s life more convenient but what about the baby? Is it as beneficial to the baby?

Babies have an instinctive need to be in-arms. Human babies are born virtually helpless and so they rely totally on their caregiver to meet all their needs. They know that the safest place to be is close to their mother/carer. They are designed to crave close human contact as this is what ensured their survival over the centuries. Although the environment that most babies are born into today is a lot safer than 100’s of years ago babies are still programmed to want this contact.

Not only does being close to the parent ensure their survival but they also instinctively know that the best place for them to watch, listen and learn about what their species and their behaviour.

Baby wearing creates a strong bond between caregiver and baby, this attachment in the baby years can boost a child’s confidence in themselves and there relationship with their parents for years to come. Dr Sear’s an American Paediatrician and advocate of attachment parenting says “With the high-touch parenting style called attachment parenting, you can build and strengthen this connection between you and your child, laying the foundation for discipline.” ( to read more visit www.askdrsears.com )

So while all these modern gadgets may be convenient for us parents, we need to consider their impact on our babies who need this vital contact. Should we not learn from non-western communities and consider the benefits of Baby Wearing?

WINNER OF THIS GIVEAWAY IS COMMENT NO 20 SHANELLE – CONGRATS AND ENJOY YOUR PRIZE SHANELLE ♥

For most parents it seems to be a concern on how to encourage and keep track of whether your child is eating enough fruit and veg. A friend has launched a very cute and effective concept to encourage children to have their 5 fruits and veg a day in a visual and simplistic way that is not only fun for the children but informative for the parent.
www.concious-living.co.za

Yvy has kindly gifted a pack for a giveaway - in order to be placed in the draw all you need to do is make a comment below before the 31st july 2010
(and please pop over to Concious-Living there is a list of what magnets are included in the pack on the Products page)

Use our 5-a-day Fridge Magnets to keep your family’s health on track!

Every time your child eats a fruit or vegetable allow them to put that particular magnet on the fridge. This allows you to keep track of their daily eating habits, and also increases their awareness of healthy foods.

At just a glance you will be able to see whether your child is achieving his 5-a-day of fruit and veg every day.

5 Reasons to buy 5-a-day Fridge Magnets:

*Raises awareness of healthy foods

*Encourages healthy choices and healthy eating

*Promotes healthy bodies and stronger immune systems

*Increases the likelihood of using a variety of fruit and vegetables

*Designed to be educational and fun, fun, fun!

Mother

What makes a mother? Is it the process of growing a baby inside you and giving birth to a new life? What then about those who adopt, foster, care for and love children who they did not bear in their womb, but whose place in their heart is as huge and all consuming as any mother, who went through the process of birth?

The definition of who is a mother, and who deserves to be, is not one I even wish to try and tackle, but in the light of Mothers Day, it got me thinking about what being a mother means. This is a life changing role that nothing can prepare you for, no matter how much you read, or plan, or try to get mentally ready for.

Perhaps the biggest part that we are ill prepared for, more than the sleepless nights and the change in routine, is two emotions that no one really talks about; guilt and doubt. Of course there are wonderful positive emotions and just how much you can love another little person, can come as quite a surprise, but no more do you get to be carefree and totally confident. That only comes at the end, when things turn out okay, and you can look back and say, “I did okay – or maybe they just turned out okay despite me.” It does not matter how competent you were at any job, or the high powered position you may have held, or how confident you were, parenting is a job where the stakes are higher than anything you will ever have done before, or will do again, and the worst part, is that there is no manual. Sure there are plenty of how to books, with all sorts of ideas, but the small people we get, are each individual, unique and different to any other child, so any manual is at best a guess, and may not suit you or your child’s temperament.

The best option you have, is to find what seems to work for you and your child or what you believe is right. Then you land up defending this method to all others because the outcome is so important. You can’t be wrong because then your child’s future is at stake. And while you will defend what you do, to the death, the doubt will gnaw at you in the quiet moments –“ have I really got it right?” If you are right then they should turn out okay, and if not then others will look at you and shake their heads and say; you were too strict or too lenient, too permissive or too dominant, you crushed their spirits or you let them run wild, you worked or you stayed at home, there will be something you did that was responsible.

The problem is in parenting we get no guarantees, every expert with a method, book or idea on how to parent has success stories and cases to prove why they are right. I do not think we all need to parent in the same way but we need to acknowledge that at best we are all guessing and trying to get it right. Maybe if we defend less and share our insecurities more we may be able to learn more from each other and grow as parents, rather than tear each other apart by defending what we do, tooth and nail.

This Mothers Day, add a healthy dose of ‘cutting-yourself-some-slack’ and go out and enjoy the things that make this job, no matter the difficulties, one of the best and most rewarding things you will ever do. Shelve the guilt, ignore the doubt and revel in the joy, those pesky emotions will be there waiting for you again on Monday…

Happy Mother’s Day.

The week end past Sally and I did a little marketing at the Living and Loving Baby Expo at Emperors Palace. I did not get to look at too many stall as I rushed through everytime and honestly having past the baby stage not much really jumped out at me BUT I did see two things that I fell in love with and they have shot to the top of my want lists. I want them because of the products themselves, but also for what they represent for South Africa.

The first is a basic African language teaching tool in the form of flash cards, puzzles and posters. I will be buying this set for myself and my kids as soon as we have finished moving and finances allow for a little splurge (I want us to learn a third South African language and this is a perfect medium to start with the basics).
www.puo.co.za

Puo is a producer of educational products in African languages and with African images that are targeted at children from ages zero to nine.
The mission of Puo is to invest in our languages while instilling pride in our cultures and history. In fulfilling its mission, the aim of Puo is to supply products that achieve the following:
• Provide an avenue through which to interact with and teach children African languages and culture;
• Educate and inform by developing children’s basic developmental skills;
• Increase the awareness and pride of varying cultures and languages of the African continent in order to appreciate our diversity and achieve a better understanding of one another; and entertain

The second is childrens CD’s by African Cream Music.

Wendy Oldfield sang a few of her songs live at the show over the course of the weekend and I LOVED listening to them.
The cd Singalong African Kidz will be the next item on my want list for the near future (followed by some of the others), her songs are beautiful, simple and fun.

Hot on the heels of the successful Under African Skies, an album of traditional African stories set to music comes Singalong African Kidz also crafted by renowned singer/songwriter Wendy Oldfield. This very special collection of original children’s songs was written by Oldfield for her own children to provide enjoyment, entertainment and variation from their traditional children’s fare. They have been tried, tested and approved by nursery school children nationwide! Written for the children between the ages 0-5 years of age who are singing as part of their language development and as a social game, topics like animals, nature and of course…mud, can easily be related to by African children and children around the world.

I am rather disappointed at the time slots the organisers scheduled for Wendy Oldfield – they could have used her appearances at times when people were already sitting and waiting with nothing to do and both entertained them and allowed her decent exposure for for music and stories that are so beautifully appreciative of Africa, its culture and our children.

Strange topic for a ‘baby blog’ I suppose BUT babies, become children, become adults. What we teach them now is the basis for how they approach people in the future.
This contains lots of questions and I hope I get replies as I dont intend them as purely hypothetical. I am really curious how others see it – beyond the group I have discussed similar things with in the past (I tend to disagree with the approach of the majority).

What is your take on children being aware of colour? How do you approach it with your own children? Is recognising someone’s colour discrimination?

I think we are taking being Politically correct about colour way too far – I cannot tell you how many times people try claim that children “dont see colour” – Of course they see colour, they just dont care! But as adults trying to navigate the maze of rules as to what is ‘allowed and not’ we try to tell ourselves that they don’t see colour. Now if they can see that a boy has a blue shirt, or a girl has blonde hair – why would they not see that that skin colours differ?

What are we actually teaching our children by trying to make them stick everyone in one colourless box? Do YOU want to be colourless?

The whole colour PC issue is going the same way as the feminism movement, where in my opinion they lose focus of what is important. If we ignore colour we lose sight of all the wonderful unique attributes of people and actually I feel create a nation less tolerant of differences in culture ‘as we are all meant to be the same’. I WANT my children to recognize racial differences and learn to accept them. How do we expect children to learn about different cultures and respect them if we are teaching them in the first place not to recognise or acknowledge those differences?

For me respect is based in acceptance, and tolerance and not in being the same. Equality is based on respect and acceptance of others and not on overlooking differences.

I doubt there is another title that comes with as much judgement as being a mother. Comparison, superiority, one upmanship, feelings of guilt and inferiority seem to be part of the package. I think the first year of being a mom is the most rough in this regard – everything feels personal. You have to wade through a bit of a swamp of your own opinions and those of others.

We all judge and feel judged (not always intentionally) – and a few years down the line when we have learnt our own lessons and become more flexible, we can no longer remember so clearly ‘how’ we used to think in that first see-sawing year of motherhood.

A friend posted this on a forum a while back – I had a good giggle as it could have been taken from quotes made over the past few years I have been chatting there from the subjects we have argued about, made statements and voiced opinions on.

Read through and then share your score (you dont have to say which ones they were ) of judgments made and judgements felt.

For full article visit Jozikids Blog

In deciding when they get to stay home I think each parent differs. I am relatively relaxed about it in that I do let them miss an occasional day of school. When would I let them skip? The obvious is if they feel ill, less obvious would be when something fun or interesting is happening or on those days when they really, really don’t want to go (which is not often) – they are after all only in preschool at this stage and I see no reason to already make school going a forced chore rather than a fun choice. I will admit that some days I insist they go to school as I know once they are there they have fun. It is just the drop and release that is an issue (I hate days like that). We will re-evaluate this approach when formal schooling starts but I think I will still be occasionally flexible on this. I have never regarded a perfect attendance record as being the ultimate. I see little value in it as I don’t think it shapes the child as a more responsible individual and children can also learn valuable lessons out of the school setting.