Earth Babies Blog

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Female to Female is involved in a very worthwhile project – Laura is working on to be able to organise a Christmas party for children who need to experience that feeling that others care, the excitement of Christmas and the joy of receiving (lets be honest giving is wonderful but receiving ‘rocks hard’ =P).

BUT we can change that for 60 children of the Othandweni Home by organising a Christmas Party for them!!!

Please read about the Christmas Party
at www.female2female.co.za and if you are able be a part of this.

I have learnt a good lesson this year about my child, his ability to remember and his determination.
In December last year he got to interact at a party with a Roboraptor and fell in love. The young owner of this raptor was very kind to allow my then just turned 4 year old to play around it, control it and carry it – (much to the detriment of my ‘how will I afford to replace it if it breaks’ stress levels – it was big and heavy and way too expensive for a little guy).

Rafe asked time and time again that evening and the next day that I buy one for him – so eventually to stop him asking I said that it was very expensive and he was actually still too small for it but if we saved some money every month then maybe by next Christmas we would have enough to buy one. I thought he would obsess about saving for a day or two and forget all about it. How wrong i was – it is 10 months later and he still picks up every 5 cent he finds to put in his money box so he can buy his dinosaur. He may have no concept about monetary value BUT he definitely understands the value of money and saving. I am very proud of him and rightfully shamed at assuming his dreams are fickle.

He will be getting his Robot this Christmas – it is not new out of the box, I have managed to buy one second hand at what I feel is a good deal and the price is one that I think we can relax about and let him play with his toy rather than moan at him the whole time to be careful with it etc.

I am excited about this Christmas for the first time in very long – I know my son is going to not care what everyone else got and just be in love with what he got. Christmas is about more than the cost – I do know this but the cost of Christmas and not being able to take part like so many around us has always been a rather dark cloud of stress and disappointment over me.

touch… is the mother of all senses upon which our baby depends

In many ways touch is our most important form of communication. It is the most basic communication, the one we first get to experience and understand as babies. Of our 5 senses touch (touching and being touched) is the one that develops us physically, mentally and emotionally – it is this that the other four senses support.

There is always a lot of talk about bonding when it comes to babies – it is often attributed to the way you birth or feed your baby … which leads to arguments galore from those who do not choose the natural route and still feel they bonded.
In truth the only thing that bonding can be attributed is touch. Think about it in terms of people around you – if you have no physical contact with a person whatsoever, it is near to impossible to feel any form of emotional connection to them.

Breastfeeding forces you to put physical contact first.

This is where the argument for natural birth and breastfeeding being important for bonding stems from. Both of these allow for and require immediate and ongoing physical contact.

Thinking of breastfeeding, there is no option of putting that baby down or having someone else hold them during feeding. In the first few intensive weeks until your milk supply is properly established and baby has grown enough to go longer stretches between feeds the two of you HAVE to sit down and be in close contact for at least ½ of the day (newborns need to feed on average 12 times a day).
This allows for a lot of time for them to receive that all essential physical stimulation, to be physically close enough to see their mothers face (a newborn can only see clearly for about 20cm – the distance from your face to breast) and for you to settle in to actually spending time being still and simply holding them rather than doing all those things you feel you ’should’ be doing.

Love is founded in touch

In terms of natural birth the same applies – you are able to sit up and comfortably hold baby immediately after the birth, there is no need for them to be taken away while you are stitched up or taken to recovery etc.

I will admit after my first birth having a quick peek and having baby swept away for all the checks etc would have been quite welcome at the time (I was exhausted) – in retrospect though I am glad for that time I got to hold him close and marvel at the result of the unpleasantness I had felt moments before.
It was a very special time and which altered my birth-experience from too much, to a fantastic one. It changed my thoughts immediately from never again to “hope the next one is also a waterbirth” – not simply feeling able to go through all that again, but actually hoping to go through it all again … that it had all been so worthwhile.

These experiences however are not needed to bond – they simply help it along. It is never too late in a relationship to reach out and touch, to strengthen and re-establish that bond and love. Children and adults alike need those little touches – the pat on the back, stroke on their hair, sitting close, wrestling and tickling, being carried/held, hugs and kisses.

Did you know? Each parent has his or her own way of touching. Research has shown that when mothers touch babies, they are usually soothing and calming. Moms most often touch gently – they stroke softly, rock slowly, and hold their babies tenderly. Fathers, on the other hand, tend to engage in more physical forms of touch – they bounce babies on their knees, hold them playfully in the air, or roll around on the floor with them. Your baby benefits from these two different styles of touch. Together they contribute to your infant’s healthy development.
http://johnsonsbaby.com/article.do?id=9

Babies benefit immensely from massage and it is not something you need to do a course in, or pay someone else to do. It is something you can do yourself – here is a link to a lovely online video guide in How to massage your baby video

We get asked this question a lot. I have used all the brands that we sell and a lot of overseas brands too. When I was pregnant with my daughter there were no cloth nappies available in South Africa and so I bought and used some from the UK and USA. It was from using them that the idea for starting a company to sell cloth nappies in South Africa was born.

I can honestly say that after using more than 15 different brands that there really is no best nappy. They all have pros and cons and some nappies suit different people and different babies better. There are a lot of factors that might influence ones decision on which nappy will best suit you.
- cost
- durability – wanting to use them for subsequent children
- easy of use
- Fit, leak proof
- slimline fit
- absorbency

The 4 South African brands we sell are Mother Nature, Stegi, Bio-Baba and Earth Babies and choosing what to use can be tricky we have detailed information and diagrams on the website but if you still have questions feel free to email me: info@earthbabies.co.za and let me know what the features are most important to you in a cloth nappy and I can help you try select the best type to suit you and your family.

We have also put together a mixed pack of nappies that contains all of the brands available from our shop as we do really feel that each nappy is useful at different time and ages. Combo brand pack

Breastfeeding news and views from a mom of colour

I have only recently found this blog but am enjoying it so thought to share. Growing up in Swaziland I have always considered seeing black women breastfeeding as kind of the norm but on finding this blog I realised that it is rarely something you hear them talking a whole lot about (maybe I am moving in the wrong circles) and I have very rarely seen the more affluent black moms breastfeeding in public (coloured and indian yes but very rarely the black moms) – I wonder why this is? (as said maybe wrong circles!?) I am sure I would have noticed I always notice when a mom is breastfeeding covered up or not.

I love this photo on our site taken by Leandre Warren

– if you know of any other great pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, babywearing, parenting, etc blogs please point me in their direction. I would especially like to know of the South African focussed blogs.

My Daddy’s Hands

I came into the world
And reached for your strong hands,
My tiny fingers knew you,
Before I could understand.

Your hands proudly held me,
And smoothed my newborn hair.
They’d grow to love and tickle,
And toss me in the air.

Your hands are the teachers,
That catch and throw a ball.
That steady my two-wheeler,
And soften each new fall.

Your hands are the guideposts,
That set and keep the rules.
Offer good advice and wisdom,
And cheer hard work in school.

Your hands are my anchor,
As I leave my childhood home.
Shake my hand and pat my back,
As I live life on my own.
One day I’ll have a child,
And come to understand.
The power of love,
Held in my Daddy’s hands.

A Mother’s love is something that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence of God’s tender guiding hand.
~Helen Steiner Rice~

Green is the new buzz word at the moment, we are all being encouraged to think about the impact of the things we do on our environment and I am delighted that there is this change in attitude and a focus on treading more lightly on the earth. I have really tried to live as environmentally friendly as I can, even before Green was the flavour of the month.

I think I came pre-programmed to gravitate towards all things natural, quirky and simple. My parents gave me a great gift as a child – they taught me to ask questions and not just got with the flow. I think they may have come to regret this at times when they were the flow and I was going against.

This was working great and it was fairly easy to do my bit and live a greener kind of lifestyle. And then my children exploded into my life changing it forever. Nothing prepares one fully for how much you will love the wrinkly, gorgeous little parasite that will invade more areas of your life and time that you ever thought possible. Using eco friendly and natural options helped me to parent in a way that feels congruent to what I believe. I feel like I am working with the parasite- oh I mean baby, in practices such as home birth, cloth nappies, extended breast feeding, co-sleeping, elimination communication etc they just made so much more sense to me than a lot of the do to the baby style parenting that seem so popular today.

Some days though things don’t go the way I planned and I find myself being rather a bright shade of orange (a quick check of the colour wheel shows that red/orange are lurking ominously opposite green) I have read a lot of natural parenting books and websites and have even written articles helping other who want to know about practices like Elimination communication (nappy free) baby wearing, the benefits of extended breast feeding amongst other things. But real life is sometimes far from the books and comes crashing in like a pot of bright orange paint splattering my Green Mom ambitions.

Now orange is a lovely colour one I am quite partial to but it does not fit into my idea of the super natural mom I want to be. The one who always looks cool calm and collected while she plants, bakes, breast feeds, recycles, home schools and all those other great things that earn us the Green Mommy Badge.

One day in particular I remember going to a museum with my sister, my daughter Rachel (3yrs), son Caleb (8 months) we where there to look at dinosaurs, Rachel’s latest craze.

I had duly carried Caleb in a sling while he slept and breast feed him sitting on the floor in a corner while being glared down at by some rather menacing looking ‘wotsit-o-saurus’. Afterwards dead on my feet and with a rather cranky 3year old who wanted mommy to buy lots of toys we collapse at a coffee shop. I just wanted to drink my coffee in relative peace and try to revive myself for the long journey home. I tired to get Caleb interested in an organic 3 wholegrain finger biscuit I had brought with me. After he threw the third biscuit on the floor, practiced standing and wriggling as much as possible on my lap, making it near impossible for me to actually get my drink near my mouth without sloshing the hot contents all over myself and him, my patients was wearing thin.

Caleb suddenly spotted one of those sugar paper tube thingy that they have on the tables and quick as a flash started chewing on it. I was just about to yank it out his hand when I noticed that this tube of sugar was winning where 3 organic biscuits and 2 rattles had failed, it was keeping him quiet and still on my lap. Long enough for me to drink my coffee and an inkling of calm return to my shattered nerves (In my defence it was natural brown sugar and not super processed white sugar – Semantic I am guessing) so with my ideals suffering from a splattering of orange I finish my coffee and trudge the kids back home.

There are plenty of times when I have driven instead of walking, bought some unnecessary thing in way too much packaging. I have even left the computer on all night when I went to settle Caleb back to sleep and landed up falling asleep on the bed with him instead of returning down to where I was working. I would be lying if I said that the TV is not occasionally used as the baby sitter so I don’t have 2 kids underfoot while I cook or clean or whatever other chore needs doing.

I realize that while I am not perfect feeling guilt for a bit of orange every now and again is not making me a better mother in anyway and I might as well recycle this emotion into something more useful, like the drive to do better next time and to think daily of ways to tread lightly on our planet. I think by trying to teach my kids responsible living hopefully it will be easier for them to follow a greener type lifestyle in the future. I think not having the emphasis on all thing eco friendly when I was a kid means that sometimes old habits die hard.

Of course there are the inevitable conversations with mainstream parents who are always keen to tell you about the baby sleeping through the night from a ridiculously early age, and how they go out and have their life back and ‘oh how expensive disposables are’ but how they could never use cloth like you, said with the slightly up turned nose as though the very thought is a beyond repulsive. Some time what they describe seems so easy.

They have the baby all trained so that it is does not really disrupt their life all that much and in comparison I think about the bucket of nappies I have at home to wash, the wooden toys strewn all over the floor, and the umpteen household chores that just never seem to be as important as reading a story or playing dress up going out for a walk. And so what if my son does not sleep though the night, I get to feel his soft breath against my check and I can kiss his fluffy little parasitic head any time I want to in the night.

It may not be the easy way and I am far from being green all the time, but it is the way that makes sense to me even if I get a little orange splatter every now and again. I think more important than trying to be a super green mom, I need to be a mom who is only human and teach my kids that we all have bad days and that sometimes a little orange is okay. So now I am off to find a eco friendly way to get rid of the snails eating our beans.

A new Cochrane review finds that remaining upright or walking around during the first stage of labor may be associated with shorter labor and less use of epidural analgesia. Due to concerns in other studies about adverse effects on mothers and fetuses of supine position in labor, the authors recommend not lying on the back for extended periods. Read the abstract and plain language summary.