Earth Babies Blog

answered by Erica Neser – South African author of Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers.

• What is the difference between normal baby sleep behaviour and a true sleep problem?

The reality is that most babies wake at night, even several times per night, for at least the first year, and often even until 3 years. Most babies wake on average 2–3 times at night until they are 6 months old, 1–2 times between 6–12 months, and once a night between 1–2 years. This is considered ‘normal’ sleep behaviour. Breastfed babies tend to feed more often than bottle-fed babies, both day and night, due to the fact that breastmilk – the ‘perfect food’ for babies – digests easily and quite quickly. A true sleep problem is where a baby wakes much more than these figures, stays awake for extended periods at night, is very hard to settle or does not sleep adequately during the day.

a Barb disclaimer: I do know babies are not meant to tummy sleep

• What are the most common reasons for waking?

Loneliness (in other words, needing to be close to mother’s milk, warmth and protection), hunger, thirst, illness, teething, milestones such as crawling and walking, habit, too hot or too cold, needing a sleep association to be returned (e.g. Mummy’s loving arms, dummy etc.)

• What is the average age (as a guide) that one can realistically help them to sleep

through?This answer depends entirely on how ‘sleeping through’ is defined. If it means sleeping from 7pm till 7am, it is unrealistic to expect that before 6 months, although some do start before then. Rather than ask whether a baby is ‘sleeping through’, we should ask whether he is sleeping well for his age or not. There is a lot of pressure on parents to ‘make’ their babies sleep through and many people have unrealistic expectations. Babies need parenting day and night.

• What specific baby-friendly steps can you suggest to make the evenings as stress and trouble free as possible for parents and babe?

Many parents are frustrated by trying to stick to a bedtime routine, as they end up cooped up in baby’s room while trying desperately to get baby to sleep. While this frustration is understandable, it is natural for babies to go to bed much earlier than their parents, and it is often necessary for parents to help baby to prepare for and go to sleep. (Babies under 6 weeks often have a late bedtime – this is normal.) It is not an easy stage, but the best suggestion I have is for parents to accept that it is exactly that: a stage, and that it will pass. Having baby stay up late causes other frustrations, such as overtiredness and overstimulation and more frequent night wakings. Leaving baby to cry himself to sleep is not an option for most parents. Many families adopt a policy of ‘all hands on deck’ to get the preparations for bed over and done with as quickly as possible (supper, bath, dress, stories, bed etc.) – the sooner the kids are in bed, the more time parents will have to do other things. Some parents find it works well to lie down with baby until he is asleep, and then sneak out and do whatever still needs to be done. Rather than resent the time spent getting baby to sleep, parents can learn to see this as their special cuddle-time with their baby.

• What is the best sleep environment for our baby?

My suggestion is to focus on what you and your family find most suitable, rather than what other people say – there simply is no right or wrong here, as with most parenting issues. Do whatever works for your family for now. This will change over time and will need to be adjusted as your child grows. If baby is happy to sleep in your bed – great. If not, try putting him in his own cot next to your bed (widely recommended for babies under 6 months) or in his own room. Make sure you are informed of the current safe sleep recommendations both for independent sleep and co-sleeping.

• How can I teach my breastfed baby to sleep better without letting her cry all night?

This will depend very much on baby’s age, personality, where she sleeps and many other factors. The ‘Comfort Ladder’, as described in Guide for Babies and Toddlers (Protea Book House, 2006) is a gentle, baby-friendly plan that works well for many parents. It boils down to starting with the least ‘intrusive’ steps first, working up to more and more parental involvement when baby wakes (wait and see, using voice only, still touch, patting or stroking, rocking, then feeding). This can also be used to get baby back to sleep after feeding or at bed/naptime.

• How can Dads help out more?

Dads often feel excluded in the daily care of a small baby, especially if baby is breastfed. One very helpful way that dad can be more involved, is to take baby AFTER a breastfeed at night, and have baby sleep with him while mum sleeps in another room without any interruptions. Dads can also help to hold, sing, rock or walk babies to sleep at bedtime and at naptime, especially during weekends. Another great luxury for mums is if dad takes baby after has had his early morning feed early on weekends, so that mum can sleep a couple more hours. Many dads like bathing their babies (or even bath WITH their babies – great for skin-to-skin bonding and enjoying playtime together), or taking baby for a walk outside while mum has a chance to catch up on sleep/chores/socialising. Many dads are brilliant at winding/burping babies – try it! The more involved dad is, the more confidence he will have in caring for his baby, and this has many benefits for him, for baby and for mummy as well!

More articles on sleep (provided by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No Cry Sleep Solution)

♥♥ We still have a few end of range Snuggly (girl) Sleep Bags in our shop ♥♥

Related blog article >> Parent’s gold … SLEEP!

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