PostHeaderIcon Some Days are just ORANGE – being a Green Mom is not always easy.

Green is the new buzz word at the moment, we are all being encouraged to think about the impact of the things we do on our environment and I am delighted that there is this change in attitude and a focus on treading more lightly on the earth. I have really tried to live as environmentally friendly as I can, even before Green was the flavour of the month.

I think I came pre-programmed to gravitate towards all things natural, quirky and simple. My parents gave me a great gift as a child – they taught me to ask questions and not just got with the flow. I think they may have come to regret this at times when they were the flow and I was going against.

Sally & Caleb
This was working great and it was fairly easy to do my bit and live a greener kind of lifestyle. And then my children exploded into my life changing it forever. Nothing prepares one fully for how much you will love the wrinkly, gorgeous little parasite that will invade more areas of your life and time that you ever thought possible. Using eco friendly and natural options helped me to parent in a way that feels congruent to what I believe. I feel like I am working with the parasite- oh I mean baby, in practices such as home birth, cloth nappies, extended breast feeding, co-sleeping, elimination communication etc they just made so much more sense to me than a lot of the do to the baby style parenting that seem so popular today.

Some days though things don’t go the way I planned and I find myself being rather a bright shade of orange (a quick check of the colour wheel shows that red/orange are lurking ominously opposite green) I have read a lot of natural parenting books and websites and have even written articles helping other who want to know about practices like Elimination communication (nappy free) baby wearing, the benefits of extended breast feeding amongst other things. But real life is sometimes far from the books and comes crashing in like a pot of bright orange paint splattering my Green Mom ambitions.

Now orange is a lovely colour one I am quite partial to but it does not fit into my idea of the super natural mom I want to be. The one who always looks cool calm and collected while she plants, bakes, breast feeds, recycles, home schools and all those other great things that earn us the Green Mommy Badge.

One day in particular I remember going to a museum with my sister, my daughter Rachel (3yrs), son Caleb (8 months) we where there to look at dinosaurs, Rachel’s latest craze.

I had duly carried Caleb in a sling while he slept and breast feed him sitting on the floor in a corner while being glared down at by some rather menacing looking ‘wotsit-o-saurus’. Afterwards dead on my feet and with a rather cranky 3year old who wanted mommy to buy lots of toys we collapse at a coffee shop. I just wanted to drink my coffee in relative peace and try to revive myself for the long journey home. I tired to get Caleb interested in an organic 3 wholegrain finger biscuit I had brought with me. After he threw the third biscuit on the floor, practiced standing and wriggling as much as possible on my lap, making it near impossible for me to actually get my drink near my mouth without sloshing the hot contents all over myself and him, my patients was wearing thin.

Caleb suddenly spotted one of those sugar paper tube thingy that they have on the tables and quick as a flash started chewing on it. I was just about to yank it out his hand when I noticed that this tube of sugar was winning where 3 organic biscuits and 2 rattles had failed, it was keeping him quiet and still on my lap. Long enough for me to drink my coffee and an inkling of calm return to my shattered nerves (In my defence it was natural brown sugar and not super processed white sugar – Semantic I am guessing) so with my ideals suffering from a splattering of orange I finish my coffee and trudge the kids back home.

There are plenty of times when I have driven instead of walking, bought some unnecessary thing in way too much packaging. I have even left the computer on all night when I went to settle Caleb back to sleep and landed up falling asleep on the bed with him instead of returning down to where I was working. I would be lying if I said that the TV is not occasionally used as the baby sitter so I don’t have 2 kids underfoot while I cook or clean or whatever other chore needs doing.

I realize that while I am not perfect feeling guilt for a bit of orange every now and again is not making me a better mother in anyway and I might as well recycle this emotion into something more useful, like the drive to do better next time and to think daily of ways to tread lightly on our planet. I think by trying to teach my kids responsible living hopefully it will be easier for them to follow a greener type lifestyle in the future. I think not having the emphasis on all thing eco friendly when I was a kid means that sometimes old habits die hard.

Of course there are the inevitable conversations with mainstream parents who are always keen to tell you about the baby sleeping through the night from a ridiculously early age, and how they go out and have their life back and ‘oh how expensive disposables are’ but how they could never use cloth like you, said with the slightly up turned nose as though the very thought is a beyond repulsive. Some time what they describe seems so easy.

They have the baby all trained so that it is does not really disrupt their life all that much and in comparison I think about the bucket of nappies I have at home to wash, the wooden toys strewn all over the floor, and the umpteen household chores that just never seem to be as important as reading a story or playing dress up going out for a walk. And so what if my son does not sleep though the night, I get to feel his soft breath against my check and I can kiss his fluffy little parasitic head any time I want to in the night.

It may not be the easy way and I am far from being green all the time, but it is the way that makes sense to me even if I get a little orange splatter every now and again. I think more important than trying to be a super green mom, I need to be a mom who is only human and teach my kids that we all have bad days and that sometimes a little orange is okay. So now I am off to find a eco friendly way to get rid of the snails eating our beans.

5 Responses to “Some Days are just ORANGE – being a Green Mom is not always easy.”

  • Angela says:

    I’m not a mom yet (4 more weeks!), but I try to keep as quiet as possible about my attempts to be more green because I am so tired of all the ‘orange people’ and their disapproving comments or implications! I go orange often, but I’m trying to be more green, shouldn’t that be admired in some way rather than be looked upon so condescendingly? I just get frustrated some times in having to explain myself to people. Anyway, I still have a looong way to go and I admire people that have the ’strength’ to be so green. It gives me hope. :)
    Thanks
    Angela

  • Angela says:

    Just needed to add – there’s this one comment that just makes me actually feel bad about my alternative inklings about how I want to raise my baby and care for her, it’s something like: “My mom did this or used that and I didn’t turn out so bad – there’s nothing wrong with me”. What do you say to that?

  • Barb says:

    @ angela
    My mom did this or used that and I didn’t turn out so bad – there’s nothing wrong with me”. What do you say to that?

    I would just answer “each to their own, because it worked out great for you or me does not necessarily mean I should do it the same or because I choose a different path that you should too”.
    Thank goodness for individuality, otherwise life would be boring. I personally have always fought the thinking that “I think this is the right way, and it should be the right way for everyone.”

  • Sally says:

    The problem with being different is that people see it as a challenge on the way that they do things. I don’t for one minute believe that there is one way to parent or one way to do things. But if some of what I do can challenge people to change just one or two things that lightens the burden on the planet then I am happy. If people ask why or say but other ways are good enough I just explain why what I do works for me and I say that it is a personal choice. Going against the norm will aways get raised eyebrows, be ready to have a thick skin

  • Angela says:

    Thanks guys. I suppose you’re both right – sometimes I’m narrowed minded too in that I sometimes think that the ‘orange ways’ are wrong. But I know they’re not all wrong – just different from ‘my way’. It’s all about personal choice at the end of the day.
    :)

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