Earth Babies Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Birth’

I wrote an article for Parent24 that was about the unassisted birth that I had with my son Caleb.
It is not a birth choice that I think would suit most people but it I think part of appreciating our differences as parents is seeing what other people have done and even if it is something we would never do, it is nice to share.

So here is the link to the day I caught my lovely Baby Boy Parent24: I delivered my own baby

I doubt there is another title that comes with as much judgement as being a mother. Comparison, superiority, one upmanship, feelings of guilt and inferiority seem to be part of the package. I think the first year of being a mom is the most rough in this regard – everything feels personal. You have to wade through a bit of a swamp of your own opinions and those of others.

We all judge and feel judged (not always intentionally) – and a few years down the line when we have learnt our own lessons and become more flexible, we can no longer remember so clearly ‘how’ we used to think in that first see-sawing year of motherhood.

A friend posted this on a forum a while back – I had a good giggle as it could have been taken from quotes made over the past few years I have been chatting there from the subjects we have argued about, made statements and voiced opinions on.

Read through and then share your score (you dont have to say which ones they were ) of judgments made and judgements felt.

I have recently, due to a few blog posts, been thinking about the vivid dreams women have when pregnant (it is very common – like morning sickness).

Acidicice’s … Do Dream catchers really work? and
Louisa – 123blogmyself’s … Week 21 – She’s a Carrot

They got me wondering and reading as to why we have such vivid dreams when pg – there must be a reason as every pregnant woman I know has spoken of the dreams – happy, sad, nightmares, disturbing, erotic does not matter what it is they are generally very detailed and you do remember them when you wake.

This stunning picture is from Lauri’s blog where she also discusses/interprets common pregnancy dreams.

Pregnancy-info.net had an interesting read on the whats, why’s hows and how not to’s of pregnancy dreams

Are Pregnancy Dreams Normal?

Though these vivid dreams can often be confusing and even frightening, it is entirely normal to experience a large number of dreams during pregnancy. There are a variety of reasons that can help explain this dramatic increase in dreams:

* Pregnancy Hormones:
Throughout your pregnancy, your body pumps out a variety of different hormones, including progesterone and estrogen. It is thought that these hormones affect the way we sleep at night, causing us to experience longer periods of REM sleep. It is during REM sleep that our minds begin to dream.

*Increased Waking:
Pregnant women are much more likely to wake up during the night than women who aren’t pregnant. Whether you have a leg cramp or a backache, you may find that you wake up several times every night. When your body wakes up from a deep sleep, it has better dream recall than it would had you slept through the night. This means that you may be experiencing more vivid dreams simply because your body is better at recalling them.

* Pregnancy Anxiety:
Pregnancy is a time of distinct changes, many of which are scary and overwhelming. You probably have a number of anxieties over becoming a parent: for instance, you may worry how you will handle having a baby and if you will be a capable mother. Our subconscious mind often works through these anxieties while we are sleeping, in the form of dreams.

Sally(pinkhairgirl) passed this on to me and i also got tagged by Louisa (123blogmyself) thank you both ÜÜ

Since this is the EB blog I will do the meme about me but connected to Earth Babies – long winded sorry.

1. Sally is correct I don’t consider myself a blogger (maybe a plodder lol). I blog here as it gives a space to post those things that I would love to share but our website is either not the right place or does not have the space for them. I don’t blog personally as I would probably write all those things I think and never say – and there is maybe a good reason they remain unsaid.

2. I am not a ‘green-person’, so feel like a hypocrite at times when getting shoved into a box of someone else’s expectations– what enviro-awareness I have, has come (and still is) secondary to my original motivations for the choices I have made. Like many things on EB if it makes sense I will discuss it, incorporate aspects of what I learn, share info with others on things they find interesting but don’t do anything that is not practical and possible for us as a family.

3. This company I love & co-founded is considered by many as a ‘green’ company – I don’t see it as such though. For me natural and green are very different (but ‘green’ is where most people categorize us, marketing seems to work for us and a large part of our supporters – and our green-passionate Sally Ü view themselves). I try to keep us available/open to everyone (and myself lol) – organic and middle of the roader’s. Sally and I both agree nothing in life has to be all or nothing you incorporate what works for you and leave the rest.

4. My lifestyle, focus and intentions with Earth Babies are different to Sally’s (which is what makes us work – we balance each other). My personal passion for EB is supporting South African parents who want to birth naturally, breastfeed and cloth nappy. I love the products we carry, I love trying to keep the focus local, I love offering practical alternatives to the commercial norm and really enjoy trying to help customers find the right information/product etc for them. All the rest is complementary to this focus, is what Sally is passionate about and I don’t oppose or our clients have asked about.

5. I birthed naturally, breastfed, used cloth nappies, did elimination communication with my 1st (not 2nd); baby signing with my 2nd not my 1st; am a doula and have a business that supports these things and more. Based on these points a lot of assumptions are made so I thought I would clarify: I have used disposables (was a combination user – so actually know very well the pro’s and cons of both); I did not do Attachment parenting (and hate being called an attachment parent); I did wear my babies in slings; I am not a co-sleeper though our kids do sleep in our bed on and off; I did not and would probably not breastfeed past 2 years though I have no issues with others breastfeeding or encouraging it for as long as it is beneficial to both parties; I tried very hard to get my kids to take dummies – they would not; I breastfed publicly but always covered because that is what I was comfortable with; I don’t believe everyone should birth naturally or breastfeed etc, I feel strongly for informed choice; I don’t homeschool (would not consider it unless there was NO other choice); My kids do watch TV and play on computers (no specific limits); eat junk (and healthy too) and have plastic toys (natural and some organic too).

6. I hate being told what to do so as such am repelled by anything that carries a label and has a set of rules you are meant to follow. I am not an all or nothing person and approach everything instinctually. (Sally and I have in the past differed on many things parenting related and in the journey of Earth Babies have had discussions and arguments with each other and others. Through these debates, time and personal experience we have both learnt to be more open and non-judgmental. Because of these differences though there were many subjects that we have ended up not incorporating into the website even though some readers have suggested we should – the subjects on the site got lots of editing till we both felt comfortable with what we are sharing).

7. A question I am asked often is which is the ‘BEST’ nappy on the market – in experience there is honestly NO best nappy – each one has their pros’ and cons’ and these are very subjective according to individual & lifestyle criteria and baby’s (body shape, elimination pattern etc) – I do have a personal favourite just the same as any other nappy user though.

8. I am put off from many natural/green/alternative approaches because of their esoteric connections. Many of them make actual or scientific sense but the strong esoteric jargon connected make me careful about them.

9. I have read very very few parenting books, I prefer to learn through observation and discussion (For the same reason as my label aversion thing – it is someone else’s 123 step guide on how to raise YOUR children and I feel this represses the natural parenting instincts). Basically my theory (unproven lol) is that your children are a combination of you and your partner and so have a combination of your personalities – so between the two of you, you should be able to realize what approaches will and wont work for your children based on what your own gut reactions to it would be … If it does not come naturally to you, all it will probably do is create stress, expectation and feeling of failure.

10. I am a pretty quiet person who write-talks way too much lol

I am meant to pass this one to other bloggers I like and admire – I am pretty new to blogging and following them and most have done it already so I am going to reserve the right to put some thought into this before I tag others.

Was reading an small article this morning in the GOLF magazine about Catriona Matthews a Scottish golfer – and before you are either impressed or think I am nuts, noooo I dont follow golf my husband showed me the article (which is a month old news – but new to me).

What is impressive – apart from that she can actually play golf – is that at 39 years of age (which many considered to old to be playing as well as she did) and a mere 10 weeks after giving birth to her second child she won her first Major championship at the Women’s British Open held at Royal Lytham and St Anne’s (on the 2nd of August 2009)… WOW!!!

Though my second birth was a walk in the park I was definitely not up to a 3 day golf championship just 10 weeks later (okay who am I kidding I am not ever up to that).

articles:
Times Online
LPGA.com

touch… is the mother of all senses upon which our baby depends

In many ways touch is our most important form of communication. It is the most basic communication, the one we first get to experience and understand as babies. Of our 5 senses touch (touching and being touched) is the one that develops us physically, mentally and emotionally – it is this that the other four senses support.

There is always a lot of talk about bonding when it comes to babies – it is often attributed to the way you birth or feed your baby … which leads to arguments galore from those who do not choose the natural route and still feel they bonded.
In truth the only thing that bonding can be attributed is touch. Think about it in terms of people around you – if you have no physical contact with a person whatsoever, it is near to impossible to feel any form of emotional connection to them.

Breastfeeding forces you to put physical contact first.

This is where the argument for natural birth and breastfeeding being important for bonding stems from. Both of these allow for and require immediate and ongoing physical contact.

Thinking of breastfeeding, there is no option of putting that baby down or having someone else hold them during feeding. In the first few intensive weeks until your milk supply is properly established and baby has grown enough to go longer stretches between feeds the two of you HAVE to sit down and be in close contact for at least ½ of the day (newborns need to feed on average 12 times a day).
This allows for a lot of time for them to receive that all essential physical stimulation, to be physically close enough to see their mothers face (a newborn can only see clearly for about 20cm – the distance from your face to breast) and for you to settle in to actually spending time being still and simply holding them rather than doing all those things you feel you ’should’ be doing.

Love is founded in touch

In terms of natural birth the same applies – you are able to sit up and comfortably hold baby immediately after the birth, there is no need for them to be taken away while you are stitched up or taken to recovery etc.

I will admit after my first birth having a quick peek and having baby swept away for all the checks etc would have been quite welcome at the time (I was exhausted) – in retrospect though I am glad for that time I got to hold him close and marvel at the result of the unpleasantness I had felt moments before.
It was a very special time and which altered my birth-experience from too much, to a fantastic one. It changed my thoughts immediately from never again to “hope the next one is also a waterbirth” – not simply feeling able to go through all that again, but actually hoping to go through it all again … that it had all been so worthwhile.

These experiences however are not needed to bond – they simply help it along. It is never too late in a relationship to reach out and touch, to strengthen and re-establish that bond and love. Children and adults alike need those little touches – the pat on the back, stroke on their hair, sitting close, wrestling and tickling, being carried/held, hugs and kisses.

Did you know? Each parent has his or her own way of touching. Research has shown that when mothers touch babies, they are usually soothing and calming. Moms most often touch gently – they stroke softly, rock slowly, and hold their babies tenderly. Fathers, on the other hand, tend to engage in more physical forms of touch – they bounce babies on their knees, hold them playfully in the air, or roll around on the floor with them. Your baby benefits from these two different styles of touch. Together they contribute to your infant’s healthy development.
http://johnsonsbaby.com/article.do?id=9

Babies benefit immensely from massage and it is not something you need to do a course in, or pay someone else to do. It is something you can do yourself – here is a link to a lovely online video guide in How to massage your baby video

Aromatherapy has been found to be beneficial in labour to reduce to reduce anxiety and pain – most commonly used oils are lavender, frankinsence and rose though there are others (see article below). It is important to use a scent you enjoy and to use in moderation as your senses are heightened in labour.

I liked the suggestions in this article by Nancy Eggleston because they give a lighter application and alternatives to the direct applying to the skin in the form of oils which can be limiting – I am careful about using oils specifically for women wanting to birth in water. Women in labour have heightened senses so what was pleasant can suddenly bother them as labour progresses – having a scent or oil on your skin that you cannot easily wash off can be very distracting and cause discomfort and even nausea.

(parts taken from Creative Uses for Aromatherapy During Labor – by Nancy Eggleston)

If you have never used aromatherapy before, begin slowly and test some of the many aromatic scents ahead of time. Remember, your senses may be heightened during labor.

Soothing and healing properties to choose from:
– Geranium, rosemary, lavender and chamomile have pain relieving and relaxant effects.

– Lavender is very balancing and calming. It is also very good for headaches.

– Geranium supports circulation and breathing, and boasts antidepressant effects.

– Neroli is a very good anti-depressant, but it also helps with anxiety, fear and apprehension.

– Rose is considered a very feminine oil and is used as a uterine tonic which supports labor.

– Jasmine is uplifting and yet balancing.
– Bergamot is calming and relaxing.

– Ylang Ylang is a strong scent – be certain that you find it pleasing ahead of time. I happen to love it, but may not have during labor. If you do enjoy this scent, it is a good choice for helping to lower blood pressure. It can be soothing and relaxing.

Suggestions on how to use aromatherapy in labour:

o Make a spritzer by combining one or two drops of an essential oil listed above and 120ml of water. Pour into a clean, small spray bottle and shake well. Store in the refrigerator until labor day. You can adjust the amount of oil later if you find that you want a drop or two more.

o If you are allowed to bathe during labor, spritz into the water for a soothing and relaxing soak.

o Spritz on a pretty handkerchief and pamper yourself – how special is that?! You can hold it, twist it, wipe yourself with it, and share with your birthing partner when you’ve had enough.

o Spray into the birthing room gently to soften and freshen the air around you.

o Spritz on your feet for a clean, fresh feeling. Peppermint is a good choice for your feet as it is cooling and refreshing. Your feet are far enough away from your nose that the smell may be ignored if it bothers you later. Chances are, the scent will be gone quickly.

o Choose a soft, pure cotton handkerchief or washcloth. Fold it over, sew up three sides and fill halfway with a mixture of rice and one tablespoon of dried lavender. Sew up the third side. Place in the freezer or in an air-tight plastic bag and set in an ice chest. This can be placed over your eyes for relaxation. (See Aromatherapy for Labor & Childbirth for chakra centers and place over each one during labor stages.) Other herbs to choose from are: dried orange or grapefruit peel, dried and crumbled rose petals, dried chamomile or raspberry leaves. Make several of these and keep a few ready to microwave in case you feel chilled.

o Fill a new, soft, cotton tube sock with approximately 1/2 cup of rice and one or two tablespoons of dried lavender so that the amount fits neatly into the palm of your hand like a round ball. (Lavender is antiseptic and it is very soothing for aching backs and limbs.) Cut, and sew up the open end. Your birth partner can use this to rub the small of your back if you have back labor. This item can also be made by sewing about a half inch above the filled rice, then tying a knot at the top of the sock. Hold the sock in the palm of your hand, with the knotted end coming up between your thumb and first finger. It makes a nice “handle.”

o Fill a square piece of muslin fabric with a mixture of rolled oats and lavender or other dried herb. Pull corners up and tie tightly with a ribbon or string. Rub gently on your tummy, legs, back or neck. The oats are calming and soothing, as are the dried herbs.

o Fill a small bowl with hot water and a few drops of your choice of essential oils above. Set somewhere in the room where it can be enjoyed, yet easily removed.

o Add a drop or two of essential oil to a very natural, unscented body lotion. Some bath shops carry these, or you can make your own easily using recipes from Janice Cox’s Natural Beauty books. Keep handy and ask your birthing partner to rub on your feet, back or legs during labor.

Essential Oils to stay clear of during pregnancy (note some may be used during labour though) :
Basil, clary sage, cedarwood, cypress, fennel, jasmine, juniper, lemongrass, marjoram, myrrh, origanum, parsley, peppermint, rose, rosemary and thyme