Earth Babies Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Green mom’

Sally(pinkhairgirl) passed this on to me and i also got tagged by Louisa (123blogmyself) thank you both ÜÜ

Since this is the EB blog I will do the meme about me but connected to Earth Babies – long winded sorry.

1. Sally is correct I don’t consider myself a blogger (maybe a plodder lol). I blog here as it gives a space to post those things that I would love to share but our website is either not the right place or does not have the space for them. I don’t blog personally as I would probably write all those things I think and never say – and there is maybe a good reason they remain unsaid.

2. I am not a ‘green-person’, so feel like a hypocrite at times when getting shoved into a box of someone else’s expectations– what enviro-awareness I have, has come (and still is) secondary to my original motivations for the choices I have made. Like many things on EB if it makes sense I will discuss it, incorporate aspects of what I learn, share info with others on things they find interesting but don’t do anything that is not practical and possible for us as a family.

3. This company I love & co-founded is considered by many as a ‘green’ company – I don’t see it as such though. For me natural and green are very different (but ‘green’ is where most people categorize us, marketing seems to work for us and a large part of our supporters – and our green-passionate Sally Ü view themselves). I try to keep us available/open to everyone (and myself lol) – organic and middle of the roader’s. Sally and I both agree nothing in life has to be all or nothing you incorporate what works for you and leave the rest.

4. My lifestyle, focus and intentions with Earth Babies are different to Sally’s (which is what makes us work – we balance each other). My personal passion for EB is supporting South African parents who want to birth naturally, breastfeed and cloth nappy. I love the products we carry, I love trying to keep the focus local, I love offering practical alternatives to the commercial norm and really enjoy trying to help customers find the right information/product etc for them. All the rest is complementary to this focus, is what Sally is passionate about and I don’t oppose or our clients have asked about.

5. I birthed naturally, breastfed, used cloth nappies, did elimination communication with my 1st (not 2nd); baby signing with my 2nd not my 1st; am a doula and have a business that supports these things and more. Based on these points a lot of assumptions are made so I thought I would clarify: I have used disposables (was a combination user – so actually know very well the pro’s and cons of both); I did not do Attachment parenting (and hate being called an attachment parent); I did wear my babies in slings; I am not a co-sleeper though our kids do sleep in our bed on and off; I did not and would probably not breastfeed past 2 years though I have no issues with others breastfeeding or encouraging it for as long as it is beneficial to both parties; I tried very hard to get my kids to take dummies – they would not; I breastfed publicly but always covered because that is what I was comfortable with; I don’t believe everyone should birth naturally or breastfeed etc, I feel strongly for informed choice; I don’t homeschool (would not consider it unless there was NO other choice); My kids do watch TV and play on computers (no specific limits); eat junk (and healthy too) and have plastic toys (natural and some organic too).

6. I hate being told what to do so as such am repelled by anything that carries a label and has a set of rules you are meant to follow. I am not an all or nothing person and approach everything instinctually. (Sally and I have in the past differed on many things parenting related and in the journey of Earth Babies have had discussions and arguments with each other and others. Through these debates, time and personal experience we have both learnt to be more open and non-judgmental. Because of these differences though there were many subjects that we have ended up not incorporating into the website even though some readers have suggested we should – the subjects on the site got lots of editing till we both felt comfortable with what we are sharing).

7. A question I am asked often is which is the ‘BEST’ nappy on the market – in experience there is honestly NO best nappy – each one has their pros’ and cons’ and these are very subjective according to individual & lifestyle criteria and baby’s (body shape, elimination pattern etc) – I do have a personal favourite just the same as any other nappy user though.

8. I am put off from many natural/green/alternative approaches because of their esoteric connections. Many of them make actual or scientific sense but the strong esoteric jargon connected make me careful about them.

9. I have read very very few parenting books, I prefer to learn through observation and discussion (For the same reason as my label aversion thing – it is someone else’s 123 step guide on how to raise YOUR children and I feel this represses the natural parenting instincts). Basically my theory (unproven lol) is that your children are a combination of you and your partner and so have a combination of your personalities – so between the two of you, you should be able to realize what approaches will and wont work for your children based on what your own gut reactions to it would be … If it does not come naturally to you, all it will probably do is create stress, expectation and feeling of failure.

10. I am a pretty quiet person who write-talks way too much lol

I am meant to pass this one to other bloggers I like and admire – I am pretty new to blogging and following them and most have done it already so I am going to reserve the right to put some thought into this before I tag others.

Green is the new buzz word at the moment, we are all being encouraged to think about the impact of the things we do on our environment and I am delighted that there is this change in attitude and a focus on treading more lightly on the earth. I have really tried to live as environmentally friendly as I can, even before Green was the flavour of the month.

I think I came pre-programmed to gravitate towards all things natural, quirky and simple. My parents gave me a great gift as a child – they taught me to ask questions and not just got with the flow. I think they may have come to regret this at times when they were the flow and I was going against.

This was working great and it was fairly easy to do my bit and live a greener kind of lifestyle. And then my children exploded into my life changing it forever. Nothing prepares one fully for how much you will love the wrinkly, gorgeous little parasite that will invade more areas of your life and time that you ever thought possible. Using eco friendly and natural options helped me to parent in a way that feels congruent to what I believe. I feel like I am working with the parasite- oh I mean baby, in practices such as home birth, cloth nappies, extended breast feeding, co-sleeping, elimination communication etc they just made so much more sense to me than a lot of the do to the baby style parenting that seem so popular today.

Some days though things don’t go the way I planned and I find myself being rather a bright shade of orange (a quick check of the colour wheel shows that red/orange are lurking ominously opposite green) I have read a lot of natural parenting books and websites and have even written articles helping other who want to know about practices like Elimination communication (nappy free) baby wearing, the benefits of extended breast feeding amongst other things. But real life is sometimes far from the books and comes crashing in like a pot of bright orange paint splattering my Green Mom ambitions.

Now orange is a lovely colour one I am quite partial to but it does not fit into my idea of the super natural mom I want to be. The one who always looks cool calm and collected while she plants, bakes, breast feeds, recycles, home schools and all those other great things that earn us the Green Mommy Badge.

One day in particular I remember going to a museum with my sister, my daughter Rachel (3yrs), son Caleb (8 months) we where there to look at dinosaurs, Rachel’s latest craze.

I had duly carried Caleb in a sling while he slept and breast feed him sitting on the floor in a corner while being glared down at by some rather menacing looking ‘wotsit-o-saurus’. Afterwards dead on my feet and with a rather cranky 3year old who wanted mommy to buy lots of toys we collapse at a coffee shop. I just wanted to drink my coffee in relative peace and try to revive myself for the long journey home. I tired to get Caleb interested in an organic 3 wholegrain finger biscuit I had brought with me. After he threw the third biscuit on the floor, practiced standing and wriggling as much as possible on my lap, making it near impossible for me to actually get my drink near my mouth without sloshing the hot contents all over myself and him, my patients was wearing thin.

Caleb suddenly spotted one of those sugar paper tube thingy that they have on the tables and quick as a flash started chewing on it. I was just about to yank it out his hand when I noticed that this tube of sugar was winning where 3 organic biscuits and 2 rattles had failed, it was keeping him quiet and still on my lap. Long enough for me to drink my coffee and an inkling of calm return to my shattered nerves (In my defence it was natural brown sugar and not super processed white sugar – Semantic I am guessing) so with my ideals suffering from a splattering of orange I finish my coffee and trudge the kids back home.

There are plenty of times when I have driven instead of walking, bought some unnecessary thing in way too much packaging. I have even left the computer on all night when I went to settle Caleb back to sleep and landed up falling asleep on the bed with him instead of returning down to where I was working. I would be lying if I said that the TV is not occasionally used as the baby sitter so I don’t have 2 kids underfoot while I cook or clean or whatever other chore needs doing.

I realize that while I am not perfect feeling guilt for a bit of orange every now and again is not making me a better mother in anyway and I might as well recycle this emotion into something more useful, like the drive to do better next time and to think daily of ways to tread lightly on our planet. I think by trying to teach my kids responsible living hopefully it will be easier for them to follow a greener type lifestyle in the future. I think not having the emphasis on all thing eco friendly when I was a kid means that sometimes old habits die hard.

Of course there are the inevitable conversations with mainstream parents who are always keen to tell you about the baby sleeping through the night from a ridiculously early age, and how they go out and have their life back and ‘oh how expensive disposables are’ but how they could never use cloth like you, said with the slightly up turned nose as though the very thought is a beyond repulsive. Some time what they describe seems so easy.

They have the baby all trained so that it is does not really disrupt their life all that much and in comparison I think about the bucket of nappies I have at home to wash, the wooden toys strewn all over the floor, and the umpteen household chores that just never seem to be as important as reading a story or playing dress up going out for a walk. And so what if my son does not sleep though the night, I get to feel his soft breath against my check and I can kiss his fluffy little parasitic head any time I want to in the night.

It may not be the easy way and I am far from being green all the time, but it is the way that makes sense to me even if I get a little orange splatter every now and again. I think more important than trying to be a super green mom, I need to be a mom who is only human and teach my kids that we all have bad days and that sometimes a little orange is okay. So now I am off to find a eco friendly way to get rid of the snails eating our beans.