I was living with my parents at the time as things just hadn’t worked out the way the (now) ex and I had planned. We hadn’t even set a cot up or done anything to prepare for the arrival! Shae was due on the 18th of November so I thought I had plenty of time!

My family was out that night. I was sitting (as usual) at the computer chatting away on MSN messenger to The Ex and I started feeling these odd back pains at around 9pm. I mentioned it to The Ex, but thought nothing of it, went and had a bath and bedded down on the couch to watch tv.

Just before midnight I felt something that felt like a period pain and like someone had wrapped a steel band around my pelvis and was squeezing the hell out of it. I think i was kind of in denial because I was under the impression that there was supposed to be some kind of show or dramatic breaking of waters before anything actually happened, but I called The Ex to come pick me up anyway.

We arrived at the hospital at midnight and I could barely move I was in so much pain. We made our way up the the maternity ward where I was put in a bed with a monitor strapped to my stomach and told to “wait here” until it was time. They gave me a shot of pethidine at some point, which did nothing but make me feel high and sick.

I could only manage to stand up once after I lay in the bed, I was just in too much pain to move. I was helped up by The Ex because I was desperate for the loo and as I got upright there was a gush of stuff. The nurse came in at that point and scolded me like I was a child for not using the pads that were tucked in a drawer next to the monitor thing I was strapped to. I was a little put out at that because no one had told me they were there and besides, I could hardly focus on remembering to breathe, let alone the state of their stupid sheets. Sadly that wasn’t the first incident of terrible nursing I had that night, nor would it be the last.

After an hour or so, the pain was beyond bearable and I was BEGGING for all the wonderful drugs I had planned. I didn’t care if they gave me panado or cocaine, as long as it was chemical and would make the pain go away! The nurse bustles in and does one of those wonderful hand up the koek exams and tells me it’s far too late to have any drugs and we must go down to the labour ward and wait for the doctor, who she was going to phone.

I remember having a little bit of a what the hell moment at that point because I’d assumed they’d have called the doctor LONG before then, like when I arrived?!?

I was told to lay on my side and not, under ANY circumstances, push. As soon as we got our the room and into the corridor I wanted to push with everything I had. I was crying I needed to push so hard. The nurse shouted at me AGAIN and asked me if I wanted to have my baby in a corridor or if I wanted to have her in a proper room. I was completely panic stricken at this point. No one was telling me what was going on and every time I tried to tell someone something, I got crapped on! This was over and above the indignity of no one even bothering to re-cover me after the last exam, so i was wheeled down the corridor with all my bits exposed. I was in far too much agony to even think of doing it myself!

By the time we got to the labour ward I kind of thought “screw this” and rolled over to start pushing. My body was talking WAY louder than the nurse at this point. I can’t remember how many pushes it took or any details because at that stage it was just me and nurse dreadful in the room and she was basically just standing at the business end with her catching mits on, not offering any encouragement or anything.

Shae shot into the world, healthy and screaming at 2:15am, just over 2 1/2 hours after the first real labour pain was felt. I don’t remember much after that except the doctor arriving and being very concerned with the amount of blood that was happening, him shouting at the nurse for not “making me wait” and then the nurse pressing down on my stomach so hard I was screaming in pain yet again.

Finally, after much drama, I was wheeled back to a warm bed with a freshly wrapped bundle of baby, Shae Riley Stow, weighing in at 3.4kgs, born on 5 November 2006

The basic principle is that you need to be in the right frame of mind to cope with any overwhelming situation – the better prepared you are and the more positive you feel mentally, the better you cope with the unpredictable and unknown (both of which are part of birth).

affirmation tree mind map

So with the 1st contraction instead of panicking and thinking “#!*/ this is painful, I cannot do this!!!” you would instead think in terms of an action you can take
eg “Breathing deep into the abdomen relaxes both of us (into peace and tranquility)” **
or simply something that changes the perception of the sensation “Positive pressure”.

Many of us carry negative self-scripts* which you need to recognize and release – your baggage or change them to positives.
* Negative beliefs you have about yourself and of which you remind yourself daily.
* Negative statements about yourself which you think and speak aloud

Creating your affirmations:
• Keep them positive (avoid reverse positives – do not use no, never, don’t wont).
• They must be in the here and now (not in the future) I am not I will
• **Create affirmations that are YOU – make it as short and sweet or as effusive as what you need for it to connect with you. (eg. I am coping or Everything flows perfectly like a beautiful dream.)
• Make it personal – those thoughts that connect with you on an emotional level give power to the affirmation.
• When referring to your baby replace the generic eg. ‘you’ with your petname for baby or the chosen name or an endearment that you use.
• Write / say / think what you want to happen not what you do not want to happen (reverse positives – such as using no, never, wont or dont) .
• You can have many or just one that deeply motivates you.

“Logic does not change emotion, but if perceptions change then emotions change”.

I personally liked my affirmations to be short , simple and powerful. With my second birth as a gift Sally made me lovely affirmation posters on bold positive coloured paper to put up in my birthing space as reminders.
They were:
(the ones in bold are those I used the most through labour)

♥ I can birth my baby
♥ Positive pressure (I used this a lot making a point of not thinking negative words – eg pressure replaced pain)
♥ Open (simple yet powerful)
♥ I am a strong woman
♥ My body knows what to do (important you need to remember this and trust your body and release control to the process)
♥ Work with the surges
♥ Peace
♥ Deeper relaxed (a trigger phrase used in the hypnobirthing course I had done)
♥ Let go
♥ Smile (smile and you will calm and relax)

The concept of affirmations is so simple most people brush the idea off, but test it in day to day life – the more you say it, the more you start to believe it, the better you cope.

♥x

Other articles that might interest you:
How painful is childbirth?
Doula FAQ’s
Aromatherapy in labour
Positions in labour

19th January 2009
Sleep last night was poor due to overactive /negative mind getting angry, sad, frustrated, disappointed, and more, about the fact that nothing has happened – no birth – and that the time pressure factor was going to kick into play. I couldn’t see how I could possibly land back in the situation of having another c-section. Surely the Universe, you (Little Jade) and my body could give me the one thing I want to experience – natural childbirth – considering how much I invest in parenting consciously and with awareness?

23rd January
As you can see Monday the 19th was an emotional day – I was tired from lack of sleep, feeling pressure due to time and generally very ‘the hell in’ and not interested in doing anything to induce labour anymore as it clearly wasn’t doing much. I wasn’t yet ready to give in to a c-section and have one booked, but I was tired of trying too hard and pushing too much. I almost even cancelled my ante-natal visit with Gladys cos I felt even that was too much involvement. But I went – I’m still a responsible mother & wanted to check Little Jade was still good & fine.

And she was. Heart rate lovely & head descended although not as low as one would hope. Gladys was very happy with me letting everything go & ‘just being’ for a few more days before taking anymore steps. She offered to do an internal just to see what the cervix was doing – which I said yes to because I actually wanted to know too & whilst I could tell it was lovely & soft, I didn’t have much to compare it with on the effacement side of things.

My cervix was soft. And with a good dig (what a bizarre sensation/experience) Gladys could give me 3 cm dilation but still quite a tubular cervix. And then seeing as she was in there she suggested going ahead with a stretch and sweep. I said yes – nothing to lose. Now Sue had told me how excruciating the experience was for her – so I anticipated pain. There wasn’t any but whoa what a bizarre, not necessary to repeat though, thing to undergo. Anyway, apparently it was a good sweep & we should give it until Wed 21st where we would meet at Hospital X for a CTG to get it on paper that Jade was still good to go.

(Warren 10th
Learnt today, from my mother, that my brother was overdue too! Seems it does run in the family. How would knowing this info beforehand have changed the outcome of Jade’s birth?)

Never needed that appointment…

I had the stretch and sweep at roughly 09h30 on the 19th. After that there was no time for a sleep even though I’d been up since 6am – as we had Jane’s school interview to go to and to meet her new teacher along with checking out her class & the Kindergarten. Jane was SO excited about starting in 1 sleep. She wanted to see her friends to be and to meet the other Jane in her class.

Then it was the afternoon to gather her school requirements and to a enjoy a ‘last day of the holidays’ time at the local play area. I did pop into the homeopath at the health shop. She looked at me and said that I’d be in labour before Thurs latest – she said she could see by my puffy eyes. She also said it is the thyroid that kick starts labour and as mine is problematic (my mother also landed up having a goiter removed) it explains my ‘overdue’ babies. Not really problem, just a slow to launch kinda thyroid. We had a fabulous afternoon but I was tired. I climbed into bed at roughly 9pm after Grey’s Anatomy and a yummy tuna salad.

Shortly after 10pm…

I now had to get out of bed and move around so as to actually register that I was having CONTRACTIONS! 5 mins apart and roughly 1 min in length.

Admittedly nothing sore or riding up the full length of my uterus. But still, contractions. Now what to do? I was tired and wanted to go to sleep but couldn’t lie down – too uncomfortable.

So I started to straighten up the kitchen and spend some time labouring alone. I’d had some show – so all the signs of labouring were showing themselves. Yayee! Exciting. Fulfilling. Jane was stirring & fidgety in bed so I climbed back in with her. Didn’t last long as I wasn’t comfortable lying down. Then I had what could only be a trickle of amniotic fluid – definitely not a trickle of wee running down the inside of my leg.

I went & spent some time alone, relaxing into the birth ball and just absorbing the gloriousness of actually being in labour. 5 mins apart. When do you call the midwife? Does this go quickly from 5 mins – 3 mins – delivery? How is this gonna work? Should I wake up Warren? Share it with him was my thinking as I knew I wasn’t able to lie down or sleep. Instead I decided on a bath just to confirm to myself that I was in labour. Oh how we doubt ourselves. Had a warm but short bath. It didn’t take the contractions away but it did knock them back a bit too roughly 8-9 mins apart, but still a good 45secs-1 min in length.

Decided to wake Warren up.
He was so excited he had to go and get smokes! Can’t remember the time but it definitely was after 11pm, not yet midnight.

Warren was great, he kept asking me what he could do, prepare, get. When did I think we should call the midwife – I left it in his hands as I was quite happy just labouring. Didn’t take too long and he called Gladys. She said it would take her about 45mins to an hour to come through. Looking back now time was so distorted – passing slowly & quickly simultaneously. When Mildred, doula/2nd midwife, arrived I was between 3-4 minutes apart, still 45secs-1 min in length. Lovely & gentle as far as I was concerned. I could happily work though the breathing through each one without assistance. No drama for me. Warren & Mildred got to setting up all of their goodies, medical as well as Mildred adding her doula touches to the scene like putting towels over the heater etc.

And I got on with it. A bit like being the star of the show with no audience and all of the light & activity on Warren (forever my entertainer and comedian who can both assist/deny me any limelight – with me often preferring to be the observer, this skill of his can be incredibly beneficial as no one then notices me. As it turned out in those early hours where I wanted the show to be active and playing but still have my time to be alone to savour each contraction, knowing myself to be doing well, managing, coping, listening to my body – Warren as a distraction was very beneficial. I think at the time though I realised that that had set the precedent for the nature of the birth scenario/setting & it was almost impossible to route more attention in my direction. But more of that as it transpired.

Gladys arrived not too long after Mildred. Obviously this was a great impact on my birthing energy & contractions because I slowed down after her arrival and lost some of my regularity. There was no excitement or what looked like real joy to now be here, in my home, present with me as a birthing mother & honour to be present at my daughter’s birth. Gladys moaned about being woken up and it not being her best time of the day and how it’s funny she chose midwifery when she actually hates the hours and lack of sleep. All of these discussions I was aware of. I was also aware that Mildred is the active part of their team and that Gladys is just there to be the ‘medical midwife’ – if you want love, support, motivation, food, reassurance you look to Mildred. Hell, if you want contractions timed, let Mildred do it and keep track of how the birthing mom is doing. The only observations that Gladys wrote down were hers after an internal examination. Gladys lay on the couch, dozing, talking, feeling nauseous & essentially just not being there and honouring the birth process & the fact that it was ‘my day’ and my daughters birth day.

Mildred, in my observations, clearly was aware that not enough attention was directed at me – almost all light and energy was on the 3 of them talking, laughing, joking, and generally killing time while I got on with it. At this point I felt like I just couldn’t quite make my contractions to the next level. At the first internal I was a lovely 6cm but still quite conical cervix. Mildred did her best to try to re-activate what had been wonderful labouring progression and got me squatting over the loo, after we’d discovered on my 2nd internal (after 3 hrs had passed) that I hadn’t gotten much further down the line. I could sense that Gladys’s lack of interest and this sense of ‘time running out’ was in the air. I wasn’t progressing as I should do. I did raise this concern with Mildred who reassured me that all was ok and that if Gladys was really concerned she’d have said something. Not quite convinced but what else was there for me to do but continue labouring as best I could. Sitting over the loo did help me to try and get more over/into what I felt was my obstacle at the time and that was that I could easily relax my entire body and mange any pains/sensations – but I really struggled to relax into that anal, perineal, base of cervix and what felt like surrounding muscles. (I could describe the area that I speak of as being those muscles one uses doing one’s pelvic floor stair exercises up and down). I could sense that one, small but very important part of my body in this process just wasn’t able to relax enough.

Added note: Feeling goofed on endorphins really is such a trip. What a privilege to feel the power of the body as it surrounds you in energy that can manage pain & childbirth.

On the loo I did get into some lovely moany, groany noises and deeper & deeper throated contraction releases from my body. A touch self conscious at first but then I actually began to enjoy seeing if I could deepen them myself purposefully. By now Jane had woken up and was an active support system to me. It was probably her presence, now that I think of it, that took the focus off Gladys more and put it back to where it belonged – on me. At one point Jane actually asked Gladys, who had taken over from Mildred’s massaging of my lower back, why she was not talking to me and helping me like Mildred had done whilst she was massaging me through each contraction. By this stage Warren had given Gladys a maxalon injection for her post nasal drip nausea and this was why she was actually off the couch and doing something. Gladys felt she had been ‘kucked out’ by Jane – but in truth Jane was probably very acutely aware too of Gladys’s complete lack of presence. I was aware too of Warren also becoming aware of this status quo, either consciously or subconsciously (not sure) and even he was attempting to keep everyone’s focus on me. However, I also sensed he was not supported in this and was aware that whenever he made an effort to connect with me, it was overridden by one of the ladies – if I say so now, I feel that they believed the ‘show’, mostly Gladys, was theirs and not mine and Warren’s. I wanted Warren more and more but I wasn’t in a position to command it – I was trying to manage all that was being experienced inside of me whilst fighting off sufficient enough fears that I was not progressing as I should be. I don’t know if I was blaming the dynamics of the scene or myself at this point. Instead I worked at staying in the moment and just ensuring my own flow.

Next internal. I did not like my daughter being present at these but because the focus now was ‘medical’ not social/family, all eyes were on my vagina and progress. Still at 6cm, maybe 7cm, but no head pushing down. All of a sudden (that weird time thing again, fast & slow simultaneously), I felt there was panic or frantic in the air, and next thing my waters were being broken by Gladys. Although I’d said I had definitely ruptured my hind waters – the ladies had seen & smelt the liquor– Gladys did not appear satisfied with this. Not sure why. Could the waters be hindering the progress? Don’t know. Was there even much fore waters what with Jade not ever having made fully use of the space and always being so very low down in my tum (I could always feel the empty waters under my diaphragm.) and the fact that she started engaging/lying low from 28 weeks on already?

The stretch and sweep I had no problems with – I could relax myself and it was my choice. The invasion of the breaking of waters needle/spring thing was not appreciated as it was not my choice or decision, and I was not asked if she could proceed with this. I didn’t want Jane to be present and I wasn’t sure the reason and objective behind it. Clearly through all of this discomfort I could not relax.

Anyway, back to the bathroom. Kali phos & clary sage, rescue & Calloph & lemon barley and for the 1st time I felt my tiredness begin to kick in and begin to weigh me down a bit.

Warren, my hero & my bestest, with Jane’s need to swim, eventually convinced the ladies to let me into the pool. Was so relieved to be off the loo seat and out of the bathroom. Being in the water was lekker. Relaxing. Could only kneel as Gladys’s birth pools are only 1.5m in diameter! But I could work at relaxing into my ‘blockage’. I had Jane loving the pool with me, dunking herself under the water and having a good, wet time. This was the first time in my whole experience that I asked for some photos – because no one had bothered to think of pictures earlier…

Added note: Have to add here that I LOVED being in labour and even loved the contractions. Felt like I was cheating because as soon as I came out of one it was like I was ‘normal’ again (not in labour in other words) – until the next one – like taking mini sojourns.

It was in the pool, after Jane had had enough, that Gladys stated that we should now look at having a c-section because she said that although I’d not presented with all 3 signs of no progress simultaneously (I’d exhibited each one or at least 2, but always together with another sign that there was progress and responses) and she felt this was CPD and I would therefore need a c-section. It was at this point that I can remember not feeling relief but instead a lack of resistance to the situation because I knew my internal resources were waning and I wasn’t sure how to renew them to get this baby down and out of my body.

Gladys phoned the gynae. Yes, he was available but no there were no beds available at Hospital X as the closest medical facility. It had to be Hospital Y, 45 mins away!

And this is where I cried. Not entirely at having the c-section, I knew I hadn’t much left inside of me – but because of my complete horror and fear at having a standard, no music, no love, no honouring, no conscious awareness for the sacredness of the arrival of Little Jade. To say I cried is an understatement. I howled. I cried from within the deepest core of sadness within me. I didn’t think it but I know if I’d been in my mind I’d be thinking “Sorry Little Jade for failing you and not managing to manifest circumstances of honour & respect for your magnificence.” Or something along those lines…

Because my next contractions were howled out of me & Gladys noted the completely different way in which I’d suddenly responded – now with tears – she asked to do another internal. I’d advanced in that one howl to 9 cms and even I could feel less baby in my abdo and more of her coming up against my vagina from the inside.

Gladys put the hospital on hold and said lets work with this. They got me out of the pool (do not really understand why other than possibly her pools are used only for pain as supposed to actually birthing cos they are too small or her control issues?) and back onto the loo (not a great idea as I had visions of dropping my baby into a germ infested loo) to keep my pelvis open and my back free of any restrictions. Didn’t want to get out of the pool – maybe cos I’d made so much progress whilst in it. I didn’t want to lose the momentum either. At some point in the labour there had been mutterings my coccyx was skew/odd or my coccyx wasn’t able to move out as it should do or some other such pelvic bone failing. Strange though as no osteopath or chiro has ever said my back was skew – although I do remember Emma the osteopath saying that my back, neck and lower back were too straight and didn’t have enough curves – so maybe there is a bone reason why Jade couldn’t get out?

26th January
A brief update but then back to the birth. I have Shingles! Ow! Very Ow!. In fact pain is my current 2nd name at the moment – 1: Shingles blisters on 1 side of my body, from sternum all the way across my left boob, under the arm and round to my back ending at my spine – 2: Sore boobs especially the left due to some engorgement and a silly left boob that although looks like a milk producer of litres, is barely giving me 10ml! – 3: Tender C-section wound, although not high on my pain list – 4: Fungal infection in groin and lastly – 5: on inside of my left leg and excruciating, burning, tearing kind of pain that could probably be a torn pelvic ligament???. Lastly, a cracked left nipple.

So in a continuing theme from day of Jade’s birth, I’ve manifested physical circumstances where faced with pain, something I’ve always been good and able at managing. But currently I’m not able to access any such resources and I find myself, like on the day of the c-section, absolutely unable to cope, manage or even control. In fact, yelling out for help in any form was the only thing available to me. I wanted to be helped and I wasn’t in a position to guard myself or try to remain independent. Help me because I’ve fallen flat and can only get up with the assistance of another – not just in the form of supporting me, strengthening my abilities but actually handing over and having someone take over the requirements to change my current circumstances. True asking for help and then letting the helper do the helping and me being deserving enough, special enough to be able to RECEIVE love and help, help that was actually my empowered co-creation because I’d called out for it. I sent out the SOS and then fully embraced the powerful creator energy coming back to me. Why? Because I can and because these are gifts I owe myself divinely and rightly.

19th February
In retrospect I could have gone the homeopathic route only but I was desperate and in agony. I wanted and needed quick results.

So now on meds that I cannot expose Jade to so she’s on the bottle and formula but only until the medicine is out of my system, roughly 8 days. Déjà vu – like with the thrush and Jane. This time though I say thank you because I put myself 1st by getting treatment and helping me out of this shingles mess but 2, I also don’t enjoy the guilt I feel when I know everything I ingest flows through to Jade, including the pain killers, voltaren etc. And unsafe medicine is a definite no can do. So although very sorry Jade wasn’t getting the rest of the colostrums/milk combo, this was better for both of us.

Updated note: Only found out afterwards that I could’ve continued to feed Jade whilst on Zelitrex although not ideal. Was angry at the doctor’s ignorance over the less tangible implications of breastfeeding – like traumatic weaning for mom & baby. What I also didn’t give thought to was that my milk was not yet well established for Jade. Additionally instant weaning of newborn just doesn’t work for me.

Birth story continued.
But with contractions not powerful enough to ride completely up the fundus (I never felt my Braxton Hicks go all the way up either) there just didn’t appear to be enough power above & behind Jade to assist in maintaining and ejecting Jade. This would also explain why she didn’t get down enough to truly open up the cervix and get passed it???

Anyway, back on the loo. Not keen. Warren must’ve sensed that I wasn’t happy there because he now stepped in to hold me through the contractions. With him holding me I could ‘disobey’ the being on the loo instruction and move off and away from there. Back to the birth room and now actually trying to help the contractions by pushing. Not my strong point as we know – the blockage/resistance within the base of my pelvis, to completely let go. So I drank Cal/Mag powder in water so as to throw up – which I duly did and this actually got a whole lot of blood and normal birth activity going – I was on hands and knees and it was working. Yay. But Gladys didn’t like the position for monitoring purposes so she had me move forward onto my knees so could lift my bum up for examination and then onto my bum with legs out – that was it. Jade was straight back inside of me. Instant 9cm to 6/7cm and no progress. Now, while writing, I realise one can ask the question: “real CPD? Or just incorrectly managed birth by Gladys, insensitive to the subtleties of differences in moms (each one being unique) and what they require of the midwife working with them to birth their babies their way? I know Gladys sees herself as the one doing the birthing/delivering, she’s said as much, therefore in tune with her requirements but not mine. But actually, right now, I’m not up for a round and round cycle of mind questions with no answers because in truth there were times and areas in the process where it clearly looked like progress was not the name of the game. I could’ve fought Gladys to let me do it my way, but in truth I knew I was running out of energy and resources that even lemon barley couldn’t fix.

28th January – Jade 1 week & 1 day old today.
Today is the perfect day for being in bed – and that’s where we 3 Van Heerden girls are. Jane has a sore tum & fever (agh, the winds of change); Mom with my shingles, sore boobs, and healing body and Little Jade (no name yet, our all time record) with a soft baby blanket, bottle in her mouth (poor child) and 1 x gummy eye. All in all a right trio of change and immunity trying to work with the flow of the world and grow stronger for it.

Now best I finish off my birth story before it too belongs to the winds of change.

Carrying on from where we left off, I still have no need to gather proof or question if all this CPD was indeed true – everything is always perfect and as it should be in that moment. It JUST-IS. I recognise clearly that with all the factors and acknowledging that in terms of the uterine contractions, even if Jade & I were totally in sync and able to get her out together, those upper part of the fundus contractions were just not strong enough to actually be the 3rd and all NB factor to help us complete the trio that was needed to birth Little Jade – Baby, Mom & Body. Also want to add here that when I see how Jade likes to lie and have her head back, she was probably not in the more torpedo shape position that would’ve also been optimum to her gravitationally pushing open my cervix.

So from throwing up to now packing up. (Never packed a hospital bag – again!)
And what a shift.
Pain without purpose. Wholly camolly. All of a sudden I was no longer able to manage a contraction. I now wanted them to slow down and leave me alone in peace so I could digest the change in course and get my head around another c-section. Well this body & those contractions were having none of that. When one started, I folded – totally unable to find a tool or resource to get through the next minute. The best I could get my head around was remembering Wecesin powder for Jade instead of surgical spirits and reminding Warren to take a camera. I also remember knowing it was pointless gathering birth CD music or soft blankets, towel etc.

At this point Jane fell apart completely. We are so in tune to one another that I felt her overriding concern was that it wasn’t happening the way that I’d wished and worked for. Additionally, trying to manage her way through waking up to “your baby will be here soon” – watching the breaking of waters/internal done to me – will need to go for a c-sect at hospital & me moaning in total desperation at the thought of my baby being taken away from me – wait, we might still birth this baby at home – No, we really are going to have to cut Jade out. It was all a bit too much for her to manage without her biggest ‘interpreter’ easily available: Me!

It is quite something being in 4 roles at one time: 1 – Concerned and caring mom to Jane 2 – Wife that could’ve saved us all this trouble and money and just gone with another c-section up front 3 – Mother to an unknown child still having to breathe deeply to oxygenate body & baby to ensure she doesn’t go into distress 4 – Be an assistant to my own body to try & maintain through each crashing contraction. It was at this point that Mildred realised she has to point out to me that there were still benefits – each contraction was still massaging my baby, kick starting all her little body’s firings in prep for the world etc. Gawsh, I was having to think of 2 kids already, 1 of which I couldn’t even get out of me.

Car drive of over 40km with painful contractions, distraught daughter and track suit pants digging right in where its sore and where you know your baby hates constrictions (by her head/neck) is no fun. Enough said.

At Hospital Y, I was taken straight through to maternity whilst Warren admitted me. Hospital Y doesn’t let private midwives or additional birthing support into their maternity ward. Regulation blah blah. However, the angels were with us and having no husband temporarily and a 5yr old on my lap meant Gladys and Mildred were let in with me whilst prepping me started. And Hospital Y mat ward has the nicest, Dutch/German charge sister (older, wiser and way more adaptable, fluid) in charge who could teach Claudette a thing or 3 and of course being day shift, she Sr Z, was there! Yay. And we’d met and chatted with her before hand. No chasing Jane out. No freaking with Gladys (and a little bullyingly actually) when she said she’d not abandon her patient now and insisted on putting up my iv and inserting my catheter. All the while I was slowly fading. Whatever strength I had left was almost completely out. I was so unable to cope with the contractions that the pain just about up and attacked me each time. I couldn’t lie, couldn’t sit, and couldn’t get comfortable. Over 45 mins later (where is that spinal block???) I was taken through to go into theatre. Sr Z only left my side once the theatre recovery room sister, named Helen, had appeared like an angel at my side. At this point my body had already gone into shock. I was shaking uncontrollably, shivering like a whole tree never mind a leaf, and this Helen looked to me sooo like Mel Roodt (my English teacher that I lived with in Matric who passed over Aug 2008) that I instantly knew it actually was Mel – there with me and assisting me through this last bit. Helen/Mel talked to me slowly and positively through those final contractions, not letting them eat me but giving me enough power back to work with them instead of them taking over. In the theatre, again no Warren allowed until I’m already lying down and prepped to go, I had Helen/Mel literally fold me into her body/shoulders whilst I shivered uncontrollably, through a few contractions, in an icy theatre, whilst having the female anesthetist put in the spinal block whilst I must be completely still!! I was placed lying slightly propped on my one side because I couldn’t handle being completely flat on my back (couldn’t do that at all right throughout the pregnancy). With this skew positioning, I could feel only one side of my body go numb. I had to be shifted around a bit and they had to wait a little while before I said that I was numb on both sides. (The side that wouldn’t go numb is the side, in my groin area that came alive with the most excruciating, burning pain once the spinal wore off and remains the area that I still have no feeling in). That made me rather anxious as I wasn’t up to feeling half of any incisions and surgery thanks. We got through it and once lying down and the spinal block took effect; I was relieved of any further contractions.

Thank you

No time wasted. Prep of abdo and before I knew it Dr W was slicing and cauterizing. I could see the smoke rise even above the green screen placed in front of me. Although numb, one really can feel so much of all of the activity going on. Strange sensations. I was still shaking. Tthe anesthetist, was divine too –
arranged for me to have a bear hugger blanket/blower? to put onto me to help alleviate the cold and shock. She also put an O2 mask for me to breathe in. (I shook all the way until having Jade in my arms in the ward)

Warren announced, so everyone knew, that we didn’t know what Jade’s gender was thereby ensuring no one let the cat out of the bag before he could see. In no time at all, Dr W said the head was out and Warren was holding his breath. I was watching him cos I couldn’t see what was going on. And after what felt like a fiddly moment, Dr W pulled out Jade’s body & instantly Warren could see we had another wondrous daughter cos Jade had been in the perfect position. (At this point that I must note down that Jade, throughout all of the antenatals, labour, internals, H2O broken further, howling contraction, car drive etc, never faltered with her heart rate. It was always beautiful, strong, recovering almost instantly and literally, she never missed a beat.)

Little Jade was born with a gorgeous mop of dark brown hair! 3.55kg at 13h22 on the 20th January 2009. She was 48cm with an APGAR of 9/10 and then 10/10 5 mins later. Both eyes open and very, very aware and so responsive to my voice. In utero she was incredibly responsive to touch, my voice and telepathic communications. We knew we were having a girl cos we’d felt it the whole way through the pregnancy whereas with Jane we never stopped to feel what we were having, we only thought! And our thought was “it has to be a boy due to Murphy ’s Law cos we would rather have a girl”.

Jade was 10 days ‘overdue’. In an instant I’d become (yes, I had been one already for 41+ weeks) a mother of 2 daughters. WOW. Wonderful. Thank you. How honourable. Privileged. Satisfying.

Little Jade was lifted up for me to see and although covered in blood I could see she was beautiful and perfect. And although she cried briefly – the theatre very soon had no more crying baby. Instead it had the littlest observer and receiver/transmitter allowed in a hospital theatre. To say that Jade was aware is an understatement. Even the (lets assume, probably incorrectly & apologies if so) unconscious theatre staff remarked at the fact that this baby clearly was with us and channeling everything going on around it.

The anesthetist thankfully and wondrously spoke me through all that was happening. She got them to move a little so I could see Jade on the resusitaire goodie, whilst measuring etc. Before they even had Jade on the resusitaire, I was talking out loudly in the theater to her. From the moment I laid eyes on her to the time she was taken out of the theatre, I talked and talked and talked and not once more did she cry and in fact the moment the anesthetist took her (bundled up) from Warren, who had briefly shown her to me at the side of my head, and moving the scrubs so I could get my hand out, placed Jade on my chest so I could kiss her and look at her, I knew she knew that I was her mother. She was soooo listening to and taking in every word and emphasis in my speech that even conscious me was taken aback. Jade looked straight into my eyes, hers completely open, and really looked at me, forever engraving what I look like into her heart’s memory bank. Wow child. Blessed.

She was then taken, but because it was spoken through with me by the anesthetist explaining it really was too cold for a new baby to be in an icy theatre, I was ok with it and was able to insist loudly that Warren was going with her and was not to leave her side nor stop talking with her. I’d see her ASAP. Being on my own again whilst they sewed me up gave me a few digesting moments to fully take in that I’d just birthed my 2nd daughter, that I really was a mother again and that I was truly blessed and privileged – AND so intensely grateful for the spinal block rescuing me from my inability to find pain management tools, but empowered me and helped me to bring Jade to earth in a way that ensured that we were both healthy and together and now a family of 4.

My fears of not having my daughter with me until after the recovery room and once in the maternity ward were put aside (them angels again!!!!!!!! – thank you!) as I found myself being moved straight off the theatre bed, onto my ward bed and straight to the ward. At my head stayed the anesthetist who spoke me through not being brave and to take pain meds because a wound 2nd time over is always more sore than the first time. She made me promise to be open to taking them especially in the 1st 24hrs. Thank gosh, with the shingles, she did.

And there in the ward, staring through the nursery window was the happiest, big sister in the world. Right there and then I just wanted to hold my Jane and tell her how proud I was to have her as my daughter, how much I know I need her presence and strength in my life and that I know I will always be in awe of the magnificent being she is. I truly was grateful to share this experience with her.

Whilst I waited for Warren to come back from changing out of his scrubs, so he could be in charge of Jane (At this point Gladys & Mildred were still being tolerated on the ward because Sr Z was conscious of Jane’s needs but they had been told nicely this was their 1st & last time it would happen.) I immediately sent out a silent prayer of thanks to the angels for their over lighting of this whole birth at home to hospital process and we also had to wait for Jade. The staff patiently was waiting for C&A to leave before they would bring Jade through. I wasn’t happier than when they were leaving, no offense, cos I just wanted my new baby girl.

She has loads more hair than Jane had although also brown, Jade’s darker, and she really is a noo. So little, quite petite and just perfect. Welcome Little Jade.

I amazed myself by getting her latched first time, drinking and content, without even so much as an offer of assistance. Believe it or not, given my thrush, boobs, shingles, boobs history – I know I was born to breastfeed!

And that’s that about the birth. As I work through my nurturance and love of self issues, heart chakra issues and the physicality of shingles, sore boobs, sore nerves, I trust that I keep my heart open to receiving the blessings. All I need to do is keep an open heart and be open to receiving love. (And be courageous enough to ask for help too, acknowledging when I really am unable to pick up a coping tool instead I actually need the help of another.

Colette van Heerden
“IN & OUT WITH SPIRIT” Spirit in Pregnancy & Birth
eBook available at www.star-channel.net

Here is a clip from 60secDoulas discussing this topic –
it is not all positive but honest in that it reflects how subjective labour is (for some it is painful and for others not).
Because of this and because each experience is so individual and contractions felt in so many different ways it is a very difficult thing to try and explain in words. Even when painful though, it is a positive pain – it is not one you pull away from but work with and the results are a beautiful gift of life.

There is always the comparison of the pain of natural birth vs ‘no pain’ of a c-section but in reality both forms bring some experience of pain – we just never when choosing think of the time after the birth but only of the moments of getting baby out. The one may bring pain for the hours during labour and the other is for the days, weeks of recovery after surgery.

From my own personal births I had one where I will be honest, in the moment it was painful, overwhelming and just plain unpleasant (however minutes after giving birth I was already planning my next waterbirth – so maybe it was not that bad afterall!?).
I was a lot more afraid second time around because now I KNEW what was to come and then I went in to labour naturally (first one was induced), gave birth and it was all so underwhelming compared to what i had anticipated. Second time I cannot remember one moment where I felt ‘this is too much’ or ‘I cannot do this’ or ‘it is so sore’ (I remember those phrases playing on loop first time around). I do remember clearly saying within seconds of of birthing “Gosh if they are all this easy I will have 10 more”.

Our birth story today is raw and honest – one of those where the mom is overwhelmed but like every mom the day after it is a distant memory and she is already thinking about next time.

In antenatal classes they spoke of the fear, tension, pain cycle – where because of fear your body fills with stress and your muscles tense and this increases the experience of pain. There are ways and things you can do to be better mentally prepared which drops the emotional stress of birth which lessens the physical pain of labour and birth – we will cover this over the next few weeks.

A similar question was asked here – the replies make interesting reading, some are honest, some ignorant and some just plain funny.

Previous blog – Walking or Being upright can shorten labour without complication

Nienke was born at 18:00,weighed 3.45kg,10 hours of labour. Wanted epidural at 10am,long story-Didn’t get one.Wont lie-it was HELL. I think l begged DH at one stage to kill me.She suckles like a champ, latched immediately! Sleeping now with me in bed, am just staring at her. Will post later!

The birth story, fresh from the press the following day:

I had cramps throughout Friday evening, but thought it was the lovely potjie we ate the evening.

The cramps were mild and about 15 minutes apart. After 7am, I felt something leaking and saw I had my show. About 15-20 minutes after that my water broke. It was STREAMING down my legs.

Didn’t know what to do-were walking around with a pad in one had, my doctor on the line in the other hand, asking my hubby if I can first have a shower.

Took a shower, went to hospital. The contractions were already about 4 minutes apart, but felt like period pains. At hospital they weighed me-I gained a whopping 21 kg’s! (Lost 7kg during birth.)
I was put on an antibiotic drip, because apparently if your water break then you can become infected, they also monitored baby and then I was free to “walk” and do everything the way I wanted. O yes, had an internal exam by nurse and was not dilated yet! But the contractions were becoming stronger and longer. Still about 3 min. apart but felt like SERIOUS period pains.

Was walking on the grass outside with my drip in the one hand, hubby timing my contractions, me saying “it’s not that bad” and sitting in the sun in-between.
Got REALLY bad, so at about 10am I considered an epidural. Told nurse and she said I must first dilate 4cm’s. They did internal and I was only 1cm dilated! Thought I was going to die. Went for walk again outside but couldn’t keep it up. Was taken to delivery room (o yes, somewhere in between I received a nice enema as well) and had a catheter inserted. Here it is all a bit fussy. Was VERY strong contractions, little did I know it was nothing compared to what was to come.
Another nice internal-only 3cm’s-had to wait one cm more. Then the dr who gave the epidurals first had to do a c-section. I had some pethadine, which did NOTHING to relieve the pain, only made me go into a trance during rest-periods between contractions.

By this stage I was screaming like a crazy person and breathing like crazy and nobody was allowed to touch me, only held hubby’s hand.

While telling the nurse I was dying (I really did lose all dignity and did not care about ANYTHING apart from getting relieve from the pain) she did another internal and I was 8cm’s! THEN the dr who did epidurals strolled in. I wasn’t myself by this stage. So the nurse asked me do I still want one and I remember yelling at her “hy het mos nou gesê dit is te LAAT!”

I then shouted some more and told her to let my dr. come because this baby is coming. It irritated me that she kept on asking me questions a normal person would be able to answer, but I was not a normal person at that stage.

She would ask me “hoe voel dit” or “ons moet dr bel as jy 10cm ontsluit is”. I mean, HELLO! The baby was coming!!!

I could feel her pressing down with her feet at the top of my abdomen. It was the most amazing feeling and so empowering to feel how my baby was working with me.

I shouted at nurse to GET MY DOCTOR.

When my dr. arrived, I was 10cm and he was fantastic. By this stage I was completely out of control and he kept me grounded. He would tell me calmly what to do and to push when he says etc.

The one nurse held my one leg and helped me push by pushing my chin on my chest. The pushing was quite hard, dr. said it was a “tight squeeze” and that she came out sideways. She hadn’t even crowned yet when I told him they must “suck her out”. I just felt I wouldn’t be able to do it.

He then used the vacuum thingy.

I didn’t really feel that extreme urge to push everyone seems to have. I actually didn’t WANT to push, because I felt she was too big. So I did it sort of half-heartedly.

Anyway, she came out beautifully and I only got one stitch. Did not feel a thing when dr. cut me, though I heard it. She was very blue when she came out but then she starting crying and all was well. My hubby went with her to have her weighed etc but I told them to bring her right back, because I wanted to breastfeed straight away and do kangaroo care.
She was born at 18:00.

So I was cleaned up, taken to my room, they brought her to me, all naked and not yet bathed. She latched immediately and was happy doing just that. My DH and I both kangaroo cared and I dressed her at about 21:00 for first time. She slept with me, I did not sleep a wink, cant sleep in hospitals, the nurses kept waking us up and checking her blood pressure etc.

Anyway, I am glad in the end I did not get epidural, because I had the birth I wanted. I just did not know it would be that HARD and sore. The great thing is, the memory faded the next day and my cute baby was the only thing that mattered.

Would DEF. go prepared to be in the right state of mind to handle the pain better.

Then at 00:30 my wife, Tanja, decided to take a bath to see if it would help take away the contractions which were now coming about every 5 min. I decided to lie in bed and time the contractions just from hearing her breathing. At 12:45 I was out the bed and talking to her as they had jumped to every 3 min and seemed to be taking her breath away. As we were having a home birth, I decided to make us some cheese on toast and see how she felt after 30min in the bath. Well at 01:00 she was definitely in labour and I remembered Sharon (our Midwife) telling us that the second baby would come very fast. This speed scared me a little as I really wasn’t up for delivering my own baby. One thing I remember clearly was that while Tanja was eating her toast, whenever a contraction came it would fold her over and she would need to go on all fours breathing heavily.
I called our Doula and Midwife and told them I think this is it and the contractions are coming fast and strong. Then I called my parents to come and fetch Seth as we had decided it would be best in case he woke up in the heat of the new baby’s birth and wanted our attention. Tanja’s contractions then jumped to every 2 min and I felt like this was spinning way to fast. I mean our first child took a good day to enter this world. So while we waited for everyone to arrive I started to setup the birthing pool and Tanja began creating her altar.
Now I was excited and nervous as this was definitely happening, and my hands didn’t want to screw together the nuts for the pool, no matter how sternly I spoke to them about working correctly. My folks arrived first and I went to wake Seth up, who was fast asleep now. He was extremely understanding, especially for a 2 year old, and even said YAY when I told him the baby was coming. I took him to Tanja and he kissed her goodbye and when I put him in his car seat he was very calm and said goodbye to me with no issues.
A few minutes after my parents had left Andrea arrived and pretty much took over and helped Tanja by rubbing her back. I remember when Tanja went to the bathroom, Andrea said to me that she doesn’t think we will be able to fill the pool in time and we needed plan B (the mattress). I got the mattress down and Tanja came through feeling sick. Luckily Andrea was on the ball and quickly gave Tanja a bucket which she decided to fill a little. One thing Tanja said to me was that this was coming to fast and felt very intense, nothing like she remembered with Seth.
Shortly after that Sharon arrived (I think to all our relief) and moved Tanja to the mattress and onto all fours. I sat down in front of Tanja and tried to help her through her contractions although I felt like her body had taken over and there wasn’t much I could do except just be there. Before I knew it Tanja was feeling the baby crown and we were looking at the head slowly pushing out. Sharon did tell Tanja that this baby needed her to push and not to push in her throat but in her bum. From that point on Tanja seemed to take each contraction with a powerful force, breathing deeply and doing long hard pushes with deep moaning. Then at 2:38 our baby was born straight into my wife’s arms and a rush of emotions hit me, most of it shock at how quickly this had happened. My wife said, “And she is a girl!” and I remember we both looked at each other with pure love pouring out over our beautiful daughter.
From then on it felt like time was slow and thick. I drifted into clamping and cutting the cord and then entering the birthing pool to enjoy a few moments of peace. It was truly amazing just sitting in the warm water, listening to our welcoming music we had prepared and staring into the eyes of our new child.
I would seriously urge parents to look into a home birth as it was calm, magical and totally felt how natural birth should be. Every time I look into my lounge I see the area my perfect daughter was born into this world and loving emotions fill my heart.

Read Tanja’s story about Neve’s birth
and
Here is Tanja’s birth story about Seth’s Birth … Birthstory Friday: Seth – 18 days overdue and 4,15kg!

At 11:30 Seth woke up crying. I hadn’t really fallen asleep but had been dozing and gradually noticing my back was aching quite a bit, as it did with my braxton hicks most nights. Settling Seth down took a little while and once he was quiet again I told Daryn I was going to get a hot water bottle to try soothe my back a little. I climbed back in bed and was lying there and starting to breathe through my BH, again as I did most nights, to help ease them and practise for the actual birth. At this point the baby was extremely active and I took that as a bad sign for labour as I’d read babies are usually suppose to quieten down during labour.
Daryn finally asked if I was ok because I seemed to be having quite a few Braxton hicks, and I said I was actually feeling pretty uncomfortable, and I thought I might as well have a bath so if they went away I could at least get some sleep that night. Daryn said he thought it was a good idea because he’d been checking and it seemed the BH were about 5 minutes apart. We weren’t too worried, as they’d been that close before to no avail, but decided to go ahead with the bath.
So at about 12:30 I climbed in the bath, where Sharon our midwife had told us to stay for an hour to see if it was real labour or not. I told Daryn not to bother getting out of bed as I was sure the contractions would stop. I tried to read my book in the bath but quickly gave up as I couldn’t seem to get past the same few lines before having to breathe through another contraction.
After a few Daryn came through and said they seemed to coming faster since I got into the bath, and he asked how I was feeling. I said they were quite intense, but I still didn’t think this was the real thing and it might take some time for the water to work. Daryn timed the next few and said they seemed pretty regular to him at every 3 minutes and he really thought he should at least call the doula. I agreed and so he called Andrea. She said she was going to come right over and we should call Sharon too. I finally agreed because at this point the contractions were starting to feel quite intense and I didn’t want to be in the bath any more. I also felt like I wouldn’t be able to handle Seth if he woke up upset again, so I asked Daryn to call his parents to come and fetch him.
Daryn spoke to Sharon and she asked him to try go farming to see if I was dilating at all. So I got out the bath, but Daryn didn’t really have enough time to check between contractions and there was no way I could stay on my back through one. So he called Sharon back and organised his parents while I started trying to do things.
I kept being interrupted by contractions though and I was having to get down on my hands and knees to get through them. Daryn later told me once I got out the bath they were coming every 2 minutes. I managed to get dressed, stick on our celebration music and start getting my altar ready while Daryn was busy setting up the birthing pool. At some point my In-laws arrived to fetch Seth and I was suddenly mortified at the thought of having them see me go through a contraction, so at the first moment I had between contractions I high tailed it back to our bedroom. Daryn then brought Seth to say goodbye to me and he was just a star, he said hurrah for having a baby and gave me a big kiss and hug goodbye.
After they left I went to the kitchen because I wanted to start baking the birthday cake and I managed to start tumble drying some towels I’d put in the wash that evening, but I was finding I didn’t even have enough time to move from one room to another between contractions any more even. I was also finding I was having to moan to get through the contractions. At this point I started feeling like a real sissy…I thought I was just at the beginning of my labour which could potentially still continue for 12 or more hours, and here I was already struggling to get through contractions, I had no idea how I was going to make it.
Andrea arrived around this time and started trying to help me and Daryn at the same time. I was still trying to complete my altar but kept having to climb on the couch to get through a contraction. Andrea started rubbing my lower back through contractions and it actually felt wonderful, it was a great help. I made my way down to the bathroom and Andrea was concerned in case I was going to have the baby there. I told her not to worry, I really did need the loo because in my mind there was no way I was ready to have a baby. When I was on the loo I had a blood stained show, and told Andrea because she’d been asking about it earlier, and for some reason I completely dismissed it even though we had learnt it was usually a sign of transition.
Andrea helped me light the candles on my altar while I had some more contractions on the couch, I was struggling to catch my breath between contractions, it felt like they were all coming too quickly now and suddenly I needed to vomit. I was hanging onto the bucket when Sharon arrived and commented that she took it I wouldn’t be making my appointment later that day.
She asked me to get on the mattress, which had been set up, between contractions so she could try see what was going on. She then told me to reach down and have a feel of the baby’s head, which was amazing, I could feel the hair on the top the head because it seems my water had broken some time, although we have no idea when.
I was on my hands and knees and Sharon started checking how the baby was. After trying to find the heartbeat she spoke to me and said the baby seemed to be stuck and wasn’t very happy, so I needed to reassure her and push as hard as I could to try help her. Strangely I felt very calm about it and with the next contraction I started pushing. The heartbeat picked up again and she got happier with each push.
I was doing 2 or 3 pushes with each contraction but it took me a couple reminders not to push in my face and throat. It was really strange, I can’t remember feeling the same sensations when I was birthing Seth, I could feel the baby moving down and slipping back up with each push. Suddenly there was a big movement and I felt the head move past my tailbone and start crowning. I could also feel the baby trying to move about. The sensations were very intense, but pushing did feel good. It took a couple more pushes and between pushes I reached down to feel my baby’s head. Suddenly the head was out, the body followed really quickly and I had my baby in my hands.
I couldn’t believe it; I was holding a tiny little girl. She was born at 2:38 am on the 16th Feb 2010, after about 2 and a half hours of labour!
Sharon had to suction her a little and we blew in her face a little and waited for her to come into her body. After I spent a little time with her we handed her over to her Dad so I could birth the placenta. It came really quickly and then Sharon asked if she could check me as I had torn a little while the baby was being born. The tear wasn’t bleeding and didn’t seem to bad, which was great.
After that we all got in the birthing pool together and let our little girl float in the water for a while. Andrea put on our welcome songs and then she and Sharon left us alone with our little girl, and we all gazed into each other’s eyes.
Sharon in the meantime spoke to my gynae who said there was no need for me to be admitted, I could just pop into his rooms early and he would do the stitches there and just charge us a normal consult.
Then Sharon and Andrea settled us all in bed together and said they would meet us in the morning at the gynae’s rooms. And they left…
It was all so quick I’m still processing it, and all completely opposite from Seth’s birth, from the length, to my progression, to the baby’s weight and gender!

Read Daryn’s story (a dad’s story) about Neve’s birth
and
Here is Tanja’s birth story about Seth’s Birth … Birthstory Friday: Seth – 18 days overdue and 4,15kg!

One and a half hours later, the feeling was not funny anymore.

I could not sit or lie down and I’d want to scream. The only comfortable position was bending forward slightly with my legs apart. Persperation was dripping from every single pore of my body and now i was worried that I might have some kind of infection. The thought still hadnt crossed my mind that I was in labour. I decided to have a bath and see if it would ease the pain. It was a big mistake. Like I said, the only comfortable position was standing wide legs and half bent.

At 01:56(I know this because we argued about the time later and I went back to my phone to check) I SMS’ed my midwife aunt from the bath to ask what could be the matter. She phoned me back immediately and asked me to explain what I was feeling. I told her “it’s not contractions but it feels like my fanny and butt is going to fall off”.She said that I must leave for the hospital immediatly to get checked out.

I tried for a good 5 minutes to lift myself out of the bath, but eventually had to call my sleeping husband to fetch me.The pain was still constant and becoming more and more unbearable. Poor Warren had a tough time trying to help me out the bath ( I gained a good 30 kg’s and was not too skinny to start with)

I pulled on a dress, woke my mother and sister, told them we going to the hospital and asked her to go lie with Daniel. At this point I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Warren loaded all the stuff and as I got into the car, I started groaning and making low growling like sounds to try cope with the pressure. I remenber saying that it’s not giving me a chance to catch my breath. I told my hubby that I as soon as we get to the hospital I want the drugs because I’m not gonna cope with 20 hours of this pain.

We got to the hospital at about quarter to 3 and I bravely say to my hubby thst I can walk to the maternaty ward. Pfffft. I could hardly lift myself out the car and had to be wheeled to maternaty. When we get to the counter I finally have a contraction and boy what a contraction it was. I announce to all and sundry that ” The baby is right here”. The sister on duty comes around and has to literally pull me by the arm to the labour room as I am immobalized by another contraction.

The contractions were now coming in thick and fast. Now it felt like labour. HARD LABOUR She tells me to take my dress of and get onto the bed. I cant move and another sister along with my stunned DH has to help me out of my clothes and onto the bed. I watch as Veronica(the sister) puts on her gloves and comes over to have look. She looks and without even touching says :” The baby IS here. You need to push now.”

Warren is next to me in a flash, encouraging me and telling me I can do it. At this point I’m not so sure I can. I ask for the back of the bed to be lifted a bit and Veronica does this.The contractions are now coming on top of each other.

Another contraction and I dont have a choice. I feel like I have to push and I do. Warren says he can see part of her head. He says that I must “just push her out. I can see part of her head.” I get really irritated and scream at him to just wait. He takes it in his stride. Another one comes and I push some more. This time her head is born. Seconds later and the rest of her body is born. I couldnt believe it.
I couldnt believe it’s over. I stared at the little baby laying on the bed between my legs and heared my husband say “Can I do that?”(cut the cord).
It took me a minute to realize that I had taken off the hospital gown and was trying to reach down and pick her up in all my nakedness when Veronica tells me she will give her to me. She does. I felt euphoric. I felt like I could take on the world.
Half an hour later Warren fetched our bags from the car.
Lily was born at 3:05 on the 16th January 2008, 20 minutes after I walked into the front door of the hospital. She weighed 3.58 kg.

There was so much that I had planned to do with this birth. I would take a photo of myself when I went into labour. I was gonna light candles and listen to my MP3 while in the birthing bath. Warren and I would bond and daydream and plan our new family’s future. None of this happened. I wouldnt change a thing though!

This is the story of how Seth, our firstborn son, was born.

It was my first pregnancy and all went really well. We had tried to conceive for a while and even before I finally fell pregnant we had decided we wanted as natural a pregnancy and birth as possible, which led us to seek the services of a midwife rather than a gynae.

We finally found Xoli, our midwife, and decided to have our baby at Linkwood Clinic as we couldn’t find a midwife we were happy with to help us with a homebirth.

Everything with the pregnancy went very well, in fact Xoli told us it was a text book pregnancy, with all the measurements etc, being spot on week for week. We finally reached the last few weeks of our 9 month wait and began looking forward to our baby’s arrival into the world, which I had estimated to be the 16th December, and not the 12th as the gynae had advised us.

The 16th came and went without any indication of labour, and I was not too surprised as my mother’s pregnancies all went full term plus a few days. A few days extended to a week and my midwife left on holiday, sad that she was going to miss the birth as I was only allowed to go 10 days overdue. I had really wanted her to deliver my baby so tried various natural induction methods, including castor oil, but all to no avail. At the next appointment with the stand-in midwife I discussed the induction and told her I was reluctant to induce as I felt the baby was happy and I thought my due date could in fact be out by up to 5 days. She agreed to let us wait another week, as baby’s heartbeat was still so strong and healthy, I was very comfortable, and my bump still seemed relatively small.

Over the next week I continued to try all the natural induction techniques and I started getting regular contractions some evenings, only for them to completely fade away the next day again. During this time, Christmas came and went and Xoli returned from holiday. She contacted me very anxious that I hadn’t given birth yet and asked us to do a non-stress test every second day to make sure baby was still coping fine. Every time we went baby showed no sign of distress at all, and no sign of arriving anytime soon either.

I finally agreed to a stretch and sweep to try induce labour, failing that we were to return on the 1st or 2nd of January for a gel induction as we couldn’t wait any longer than that. I was convinced the stretch and sweep would work as my cervix had been nice and soft for some time now. The evening after the stretch and sweep I had regular contractions again, which frustratingly disappeared the next morning. By this time we were starting to get very tired of waiting and just wanted to meet our baby!

And so New Year’s arrived and I prayed as hard as I could that my labour would start naturally…and my wish came true, on the evening of the 1st, after dinner at 8pm, my nightly contractions started again, but this time they were different because they were painful, where none of my previous contractions ever really were. We timed them and when they were 5 minutes apart and at least 40 seconds long we called Xoli, she asked us to go into the clinic as it sounded like I was in labour.

We reached Linkwood at 2:30, my contractions were monitored and it was confirmed that I was in labour. We were so excited, until Xoli did an internal and said I was unfortunately only 1cm dilated (as I had been previously) and it could still be a very long time until I gave birth. She did another stretch and sweep, and advised us to go home and call her when the contractions were closer together, she would give us until Friday to let labour progress naturally, but if baby hadn’t arrived by then she would have to intervene.

We got home at 3:30 and went to bed, but after the internal my contractions seemed stronger and more painful than before and I was unable to sleep through them, so I got up and sat on my birthing ball to try open up my pelvis and speed up my labour. My contractions became more and more painful but weren’t getting any closer together, and finally I woke Daryn as I didn’t feel like I was coping very well on my own any more.

Daryn called Xoli and she advised us to take an hour long walk, and then make our way to Linkwood. As my contractions were painful enough to stop me in my tracks, we decided to walk around our garden and in front of our house, without going to far. We walked and walked, with me holding onto Daryn through the contractions. I began feeling nauseous and suddenly threw up. Worried, Daryn called Xoli, even though I told him it was normal, and they decided we would go to the clinic immediately and rather walk around the grounds there.

We arrived at 10:30am on the 2nd January and started walking, and walking, and walking, with me throwing up several times during this time. Xoli finally arrived and monitored my contractions again, and checked my cervix. Although my contractions were stronger, I had only dilated to 2cms, which was very disappointing. Xoli said she would check again at 2pm, and until then I should take a bath to relax, and continue walking etc. We walked and walked some more, and I got in the bath a bit to try relax. My contractions were becoming steadily more and more painful and I was moaning through all of them, and no positions or swiveling I did seemed to help ease them at all, the only thing that did help was the bath.

When Xoli checked again my contractions were really intense, but I hadn’t dilated any further at all. At this point she said we would have to decide on a course of action as she was worried about the baby going into foetal distress and me becoming too exhausted, as I hadn’t slept the previous night, I wasn’t able to eat and was throwing up, and with the baby being so overdue she felt my placenta could be taking too much strain. We agreed to let her break the waters to try speed things up, rather than use Syntocin to increase my contractions. She broke my waters and discovered Meconium in the water, which she was concerned about, but throughout all of this my baby showed no signs of distress at all when they monitored his heart rate. In fact he was unusually happy through every contraction. I went into the bathroom and burst into tears as I thought I was going to need a c-section. Xoli came in and told me to try calm down, and that her first concern was for my baby, but as they couldn’t find any other sign of distress she was happy for me to try to continue to labour naturally for a further 4 hours before checking us again. So I calmed down and we went for another walk, and the pain of my contractions increased a lot. When we got back to the room I had another bath and waited for our next checkup at 6pm, continuing to standing and rotate my hips, and doing everything in my power to help dilations etc.

When Xoli checked me again I had only progressed to 4cms, but baby still appeared as happy as ever. At this time Xoli said we would have to do something as I was so exhausted she was worried I wouldn’t be able to continue for much longer, and she wasn’t sure how much longer the baby could carry on for either. We agreed to a Syntocin drip, and the Pethidene which accompanied it, even though we had wanted a drug-free birth, as we felt it was our best option for still having a vaginal birth.

The Syntocin made my contractions incredibly painful but although the Pethidene didn’t stop the pain, it made my body relax sufficiently for me to sleep between contractions. I later found out my contractions at that point were every 2 minutes so I wasn’t sleeping much, but it did help.

At 8pm the contractions became so painful I told Daryn the Pethidene wasn’t working and he better get Xoli. Unknown to me, she told him I had to wait until 8:30 and he should try stall me, so he just kept telling me she was on her way.

When she finally arrived she checked me and I was 9 and a half centimeters dilated, it had worked! She told us to get ready because it was time to have a baby before the next hour was up…little did she know!

They ran me the bath and I got in and we started pushing, and pushing and pushing. It felt so good to push, somehow it changed the pain of the contractions so that it was bearable again. The baby’s head was just short of crowning and Xoli told me to feel my babies head, it was amazing and I told Daryn to feel it too!

I pushed and pushed and pushed but the baby just kept trying to crown and then slipping back again. I only found out afterwards that I spent 2 hours pushing in the bath, luckily for me it didn’t feel that long. Xoli eventually said to me I would have to get out the bath as baby clearly needed some help. So I climbed out and back onto the bed, and bracing myself against Daryn and Xoli, tried to push again. At this point baby’s heart rate started dipping with my contractions, and Xoli said it was time for him to be born as he was getting stressed, and he clearly needed some help. So she called in another lady to help and they got the Ventouse suction cup to help him. So with me pushing as hard as I could and the assistant pushing as hard as she could on my bump, Xoli gently pulled the baby’s head. Before I knew it he crowned and then his shoulders and body followed at 22:57. Baby was immediately placed on my chest and I was so happy I looked into my baby’s eyes and said “You made it my baby!”, that’s when Daryn said, “It’s a little boy!”

Daryn then cut the umbilical cord and they gave my little boy to him to hold while they were finishing with me, the afterbirth came straight out without any problems, and then they needed to give me some stitches because they had to give me a small cut to help my boy out. The entire time I just kept asking if I could feed him yet.

Apparently at this point they measured my little boy and he was a whopping 4.15kg and 54cm long, my midwife asked if I was an athlete because she said my bump was so small no one could believe the baby was that big, also she said my perineum was very tough and they usually only see that in horse riders or athletes etc. I don’t remember this but apparently I replied and told her it must be from lots of sex cause I’ve never done a day of exercise in my life – how embarrassing!

Then finally I was holding my little man again, and he latched right on and fed. They ran me a nice bath and I climbed in with my baby and we washed up, climbed back into bed and went to sleep for the rest of the night!

Throughout everything, Daryn was the greatest support I could have asked for, and I could never have done it without him.

The day afterwards Daryn told me that when my placenta came out they were expecting a lot of calcification etc because baby was 18 days overdue – but it was a 100% fine still, if I hadn’t gone into labour then or been induced, my baby would have just carried on growing and growing for who knows how long! Oh, and I have the dubious honour of breaking her record of 8 months with no episiotomies & being Linkwood’s first for the year, as well as being her most overdue patient

I found out that I was pregnant on 2 December 2003. My due date was 10 August 2004. It was so exciting to tell everyone. My sister was the first to know and then I told my mom and my grandmother. My mom and sister were flying to visit my brother in Canada for the month that evening and I called my brother from the airport to tell him the news. Everyone was very excited, with it being the first grandchild on both my and my husband’s side of the family.

My pregnancy was great, except for the nausea, which lasted the whole way and was not only confined to morning sickness. I really felt like I was glowing. I love being pregnant.

I don’t know when exactly I began leaking amniotic fluid. I was feeling dampness downstairs for a week or so. I had been ill with bronchitis for a few days and had really been coughing a lot. I just assumed that the dampness was due to incontinence because of the pregnancy and that this was just worsened due to the coughing. I wore a pad and though nothing more of it.

My mom and sister had been away and I went to fetch them at the airport on Sunday 13 June. I had been booked off work for the week and between my mom and I we decided that I should go back home with her so that she could “look after” me and nurse me back to health, as I was still not feeling on top of the world. Just as a precautionary measure, I packed a bag for myself and one for little Andrew (I always say that one can never be too prepared, or maybe I just had a niggling feeling that something was about to happen), and off we went. It was actually great to be able to just rest and by the Thursday morning I was feeling a lot better and had a lot more energy. It is amazing what relaxation can do for the body.

I woke up the morning of 18 June and noticed that there was some blood in the fluid that I had been leaking. After calling the local GP, it was decided that I need to go to the hospital to be checked out under sterile conditions. They needed to find out what the fluid was that I was leaking. My mom drove me to the hospital and I was checked out by a gynecologist, who told me that it was definitely amniotic fluid and that I would have to be admitted into hospital and monitored. He also requested that I go for an in-depth scan to see how much amniotic fluid I still had. If there was not enough then I would have to have an emergency caesarean. I was given a cortisone injection to strengthen the baby’s lungs in case he was born early. I spent the entire day in a beautiful hospital gown, flat on my back (I was not allowed to move around at all) until I finally went for the scan later that afternoon. The scan revealed that the baby was doing very well and that there were still a few “pockets” of amniotic fluid and that I could continue with the pregnancy and it would not be necessary to do an early delivery. I was really relieved, as I felt that I was not quite ready to be dealing with a newborn baby and besides I was in a “strange” town and without my husband.

Semi-lying, I managed the 2 ½ hour trip back home early on Saturday morning. I was so glad to be home, at least now if things do go wrong I am in my own town, my own home and have my own doctor around as well as my husband.
I had my stork-tea that afternoon.

I went to see my gynecologist on Monday 21 June just to make sure that everything was fine. He did a full check and seemed to think that everything was fine. My leaking had even seemed to have sorted itself out. He sent me for some blood tests to check that I did not have an infection of some sort and then put me on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy, just as a precaution.

I woke up at about 2am on the morning of 23 June feeling pains in my stomach, but not thinking too much of it – I thought they were Braxton Hicks contractions, which is quite normal so far into the pregnancy. I went to the loo (my normal thing a few times a night) and then went back to bed. I woke again at 7am and the pains were still there. They were very slight and felt like period pains. My back was also quite sore. I told my husband that I think something is not right and he advised that I try to get hold of the doctor when his offices opened at 8am. My husband went to work and asked that I call him as soon as I know what is happening.

By 7h30 the pains were getting worse and I was getting a bit worried, so I called the labour ward at the hospital. I asked the sister on duty what a contraction feels like said that she thinks that what I am feeling are contractions and I could be in labour. She said that I should come to the hospital to be monitored. I was 33 weeks and 2 days pregnant – surely this is too early for labour! I called my husband and told him that I am going to the hospital and that (yes, I know I am crazy) drive myself because I felt fine. I did the whole packing my bag and Andrew’s bag thing and off I went.

When I got to the hospital I was immediately hooked up onto a monitor as it was confirmed that I was definitely having contractions and was therefore definitely in the early stages of labour. PANIC!!!! I was only 33 weeks pregnant!!

The doctor was called and I was admitted into the hospital and immediately put onto a drip with medication in it to stop the contractions. This was at about 9am. My husband came to see me later that morning and we suddenly came to the realisation that our baby could be born any time from now. The medication that I was given did not seem to work very well for the contractions/pains and it was only after the dosage was increased that I felt better. The increase was so severe though that it was at the maximum allowed and I was warned that I would have to stay in hospital for a few days to be weaned off the medication. So it seemed as if I was not going very far.

My gynae came to see me just after 9pm and said that everything looked good. They baby was fine, I seemed to be doing well and the contractions seemed to have slowed down to such an extent that I was not really in labour any more. My husband went home after the doctor left and promised to come see me on his way to work the next morning.

All seemed to be under control, and I actually managed to get some sleep until 2am, when I woke up with terrible contractions and called the sister for some pain medication. She gave me a shot of pethedine and promised me that it would “knock me out” and that it would help for the pain. Needless to say, it did neither and it seemed as if nothing on this earth was going to stop these contractions. After an hour, I could not cope any more and went in search of the sisters on duty once again.

I was then moved from the general ward into the labour room so that I could be examined and the baby be monitored again. The contractions were becoming stronger and more frequent and it was quite evident when I was hooked up onto the monitors. There was nothing more that could be done to stop the labour process and it was all systems go for me.

My gynae was called at 4am and he told the sisters to schedule me for an emergency caesarean for 9am, as I was only about 2cm dilated. I called my husband shortly after 5 am and let him know that I was fully in labour and that Andrew was on his way and would be born by C-section at 9am. I called my mom at about 6am with the same news.

At about 5h30 my waters broke after an internal examination and I dilated another 2cm immediately. Labour progressed very quickly from there and things started gong a bit hazy for me. My gynae was called at 6am again and told that I was dilating very quickly and he moved the C-section forward to 8am.

What happened after that is a bit of a blur because things were moving quite fast and I was having a contraction every 1 ½ – 2 minutes and trying to still breathe in between. My husband arrived to support me – thank goodness – and he massaged by back for me and towelled down my forehead. He was a real star. Somewhere through this lot, I was prepped for the caesarean and my husband tried to fill out the concession forms for the epidural to be administrated. All I really remember is begging for an epidural and the nurses telling me I had to just wait for the anaesthetist, who was on his way.

Next thing my catheter was pulled out and I was told that it was too late for the caesarean and that the baby was coming…..

By this stage the contractions had let up and I started feeling the need to push. Only problem was that my doctor was not there yet. My gynae arrived a few minutes later and made an entrance in his own right. He had been out cycling when he got the call to come to the hospital urgently. He cycled into the hospital, into the ward, parked his bicycle outside the door, took off his cycling helmet and his cycling gloves, put a pair of latex gloves on and said, “Well, let’s deliver a baby”. The pushing was not too bad, although it was very tiring. It lasted for about 15 minutes and next thing Andrew was born. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, seeing that little helpless baby and knowing that he is yours. The love that you feel for this child who is only a few seconds old and who you don’t even know yet, is indescribable.

Again, things moved quite fast after that and the cord was cut and Andrew was been given his apgar test (which he only scored 1/10 for). I was shown Andrew for a brief moment before he was taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Andrew ended up staying in the NICU for 3 weeks before we could finally take him home.

All in all a wonderful experience and something which I will remember for the rest of my life. It is truly a miracle to give birth!

Gestational age when born 33 weeks
Weight when born 2.23kg
Reason for premature birth (eg. Pre-term labour, pre-eclampisia, placenta praevia etc) Pre-term labour
Baby’s age at time of submitting (and date) 4 years (June 2008) Baby’s weight 16kg