Earth Babies Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Modern babies are held as little as 20% of the day due to parents having various gadgets to ‘help’ – we shift them from cot to pram to bouncer to swing-chair to car-seat. No need to take them from the car-seat, simply take it with!

All of these devices are perceived as making a parent’s life more convenient but what about the baby? Is it as beneficial to the baby?

Babies have an instinctive need to be in-arms. Human babies are born virtually helpless and so they rely totally on their caregiver to meet all their needs. They know that the safest place to be is close to their mother/carer. They are designed to crave close human contact as this is what ensured their survival over the centuries. Although the environment that most babies are born into today is a lot safer than 100’s of years ago babies are still programmed to want this contact.

Not only does being close to the parent ensure their survival but they also instinctively know that the best place for them to watch, listen and learn about what their species and their behaviour.

Baby wearing creates a strong bond between caregiver and baby, this attachment in the baby years can boost a child’s confidence in themselves and there relationship with their parents for years to come. Dr Sear’s an American Paediatrician and advocate of attachment parenting says “With the high-touch parenting style called attachment parenting, you can build and strengthen this connection between you and your child, laying the foundation for discipline.” ( to read more visit www.askdrsears.com )

So while all these modern gadgets may be convenient for us parents, we need to consider their impact on our babies who need this vital contact. Should we not learn from non-western communities and consider the benefits of Baby Wearing?

Strange topic for a ‘baby blog’ I suppose BUT babies, become children, become adults. What we teach them now is the basis for how they approach people in the future.
This contains lots of questions and I hope I get replies as I dont intend them as purely hypothetical. I am really curious how others see it – beyond the group I have discussed similar things with in the past (I tend to disagree with the approach of the majority).

What is your take on children being aware of colour? How do you approach it with your own children? Is recognising someone’s colour discrimination?

I think we are taking being Politically correct about colour way too far – I cannot tell you how many times people try claim that children “dont see colour” – Of course they see colour, they just dont care! But as adults trying to navigate the maze of rules as to what is ‘allowed and not’ we try to tell ourselves that they don’t see colour. Now if they can see that a boy has a blue shirt, or a girl has blonde hair – why would they not see that that skin colours differ?

What are we actually teaching our children by trying to make them stick everyone in one colourless box? Do YOU want to be colourless?

The whole colour PC issue is going the same way as the feminism movement, where in my opinion they lose focus of what is important. If we ignore colour we lose sight of all the wonderful unique attributes of people and actually I feel create a nation less tolerant of differences in culture ‘as we are all meant to be the same’. I WANT my children to recognize racial differences and learn to accept them. How do we expect children to learn about different cultures and respect them if we are teaching them in the first place not to recognise or acknowledge those differences?

For me respect is based in acceptance, and tolerance and not in being the same. Equality is based on respect and acceptance of others and not on overlooking differences.

I doubt there is another title that comes with as much judgement as being a mother. Comparison, superiority, one upmanship, feelings of guilt and inferiority seem to be part of the package. I think the first year of being a mom is the most rough in this regard – everything feels personal. You have to wade through a bit of a swamp of your own opinions and those of others.

We all judge and feel judged (not always intentionally) – and a few years down the line when we have learnt our own lessons and become more flexible, we can no longer remember so clearly ‘how’ we used to think in that first see-sawing year of motherhood.

A friend posted this on a forum a while back – I had a good giggle as it could have been taken from quotes made over the past few years I have been chatting there from the subjects we have argued about, made statements and voiced opinions on.

Read through and then share your score (you dont have to say which ones they were ) of judgments made and judgements felt.

For full article visit Jozikids Blog

In deciding when they get to stay home I think each parent differs. I am relatively relaxed about it in that I do let them miss an occasional day of school. When would I let them skip? The obvious is if they feel ill, less obvious would be when something fun or interesting is happening or on those days when they really, really don’t want to go (which is not often) – they are after all only in preschool at this stage and I see no reason to already make school going a forced chore rather than a fun choice. I will admit that some days I insist they go to school as I know once they are there they have fun. It is just the drop and release that is an issue (I hate days like that). We will re-evaluate this approach when formal schooling starts but I think I will still be occasionally flexible on this. I have never regarded a perfect attendance record as being the ultimate. I see little value in it as I don’t think it shapes the child as a more responsible individual and children can also learn valuable lessons out of the school setting.

I have a wish list for what I would like added to humans through the evolution process – I know I will miss out on the benefits but it is my wish for the generations of mothers to come.

You would think the process would have started centuries ago as I am sure mothers since the beginning of time have been experiencing the same issues. Who cares if we start looking a little weird if it makes life more pleasant lol

Mothers need
1. an extra pair of arms.
2. more patience
3. eyes in the back of their heads
4. A little down time button where you get 10 minutes of seeing,hearing and feeling nothing while you reboot

Children need
1. a volume dial
2. ears that actually work
3. the ability to sleep without waking for min of 10 hours solid at night
4. a better sense of self preservation – (maybe only mine need this but if i say leave me alone for a little bit please that they actually realise that I really really really need them to give me 10 minutes alone).
5. An instant understanding and acceptance of the meaning no and stop.
6. no whine tone to their voice and no need to repeat themselves over and over.
7. patience.

So what would you add to the list … we can all dream Ü

I know if we got half the things I wish for children, then children would not be children and we would probably miss out on so much of the other special things about them but at the moment my tired brain says “I could live with that!”.

What is the difference between “global warming” and “climate change?”
(Global Warming Kid’s Pages)
“Global warming” refers to the increase of the Earth’s average surface temperature, due to a build-up of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. “Climate change” is a broader term that refers to long-term changes in climate, including average temperature and precipitation

The idea of climate change is not a foreign concept anymore – all of us have heard of it – there are ongoing arguments and studies as to whether global warming is due to our actions or the natural life cycle of the earth.
Whether we roll our eyes at the fuss or buy into the concern whole hog it is a concept our children will need to learn about.
Irrespective of what our take on it is, the approaches for helping are simple and logical from the stand point of teaching our children about our influence on our earth, the creatures on it and the resources we need for our daily living – it is our responsibility as parents to raise our children to be considerate, respectful and love this planet that allows us life.

The other day we took the kids to watch Earth (unfortunately I did not get to watch it all as it is a documentary so lost Kara’s attention as soon as the opening scenes of the polar bear babies moved on) but Rafe watched it all with his dad and enjoyed it.
Basically it is a documentary which demonstrates the effects of climate change by following three animal families and their amazing journeys across the planet. The imagery is beautiful, they share interesting facts about the animals and show effectively how climate change is affecting the animals, their source of food and in essence their very existence.
(2 other stunning kids movies, which though they don’t focus on climate change, take on the the subject of how our actions as humans are affecting the earth and animals are Happy feet and Wall-E)

Climate change can be a big concept to try and explain to children especially if like me you only grasp the basics, so I found some lovely sites specifically focused on children that can help you communicate it to them on their level.
There are many but I will only list a few (google is your friend Ü)

Cool kids for a Cool Climate – Projects, News, Stories

Twelve Really Important Things you can do to help stop global warming – nice explanations

Global Warming for kids which links to Hippo Works – Lovely little cartoon clips which address climate change and other environmental issues in short simple format easy for children (& those like me needing climate change for dummies) to understand.

For today Climate Change is the focus for Blog Action Day 2009 – more than 7000 bloggers have registered to participate. Go have a look and see what others have to say on this subject.

I wrote this article on Jozi kids about Halloween, you can read it here on their blog

I remember the dilemma I had when we went Trick-or-treating the first time when we lived in England, I try where possible to limit my kids sweet and sugar intake, but this was now sweet heaven a whole bag full of sticky delightful sweets. A kids dream come true. Should I just let them have the sweets and enjoy them or should I changed them from healthier snacks? In the end I thought you are only a kid once and sweets at Halloween are unlikely to kill them. All things in moderation I guess is the answer.

It does not stop me thinking I wish we could cut sugar out of our lives totally. I have read so much about it negative effects on our bodies. I read this article Sugar the Sweet Thief of Life a few years ago, it is a long read but quite scary to see what effect it has on our bodies, and ever since then I have wanted to get rid of it, but it is way easier said than done when I myself have a very sweet tooth.

I know I will never be able to cut sugar out all together as much as I would like to, maybe I just have to make peace with trying to limit it where I can and substitute with other snacks. I don’t want to be fanatical though as I think the forbidden always becomes more alluring to kids. So I guess a sweet overload at Halloween and other times like this is just part of the joys of growing up.

This weekend C (husband) and I had the treat of a night all to ourselves. Sally very kindly had both of my kids sleep over by her. I looked forward to it all week – I kept it as a surprise from C as it had been his birthday in the week and rather than going out i thought it would be nice to do a romantic evening at home. I spent the week preparing the children that they would be sleeping out and anticipating the joy of being child free for an entire night (Rafe has slept out but Kara had never).

We watched a dvd (early without having to first wait for the kids to go to sleep). We ate decadent food and dessert (everything our kids would never eat). We got to sit close to each other (no kids inbetween us). We got to make love where and when we wanted (no kids forcing a late night, stealth mode, too tired to do much encounter).

It was heaven and fun and felt like we were worry free and dating again … but you may have noticed a trend in the previous paragraph – yup after a bit I kept thinking of what the kids were doing or would be doing were they with us. At bed time i felt so heartsore that our house felt empty. I will not lie I LOVED my solid nights sleep, and loved being able to snuggle up to C through the night and in the early morning – it was however rather sad not waking to a little body pushing me off the bed and the normal range of morning drama and demands. It does appear as usual I missed them more than what they missed us.

I loved the time to ourselves, that precious time together that all parents need to reconnect BUT the best part of the evening was rediscovering that though I sometimes yearn for time away for my kids the yearn to be with them is stronger.

I have learnt a good lesson this year about my child, his ability to remember and his determination.
In December last year he got to interact at a party with a Roboraptor and fell in love. The young owner of this raptor was very kind to allow my then just turned 4 year old to play around it, control it and carry it – (much to the detriment of my ‘how will I afford to replace it if it breaks’ stress levels – it was big and heavy and way too expensive for a little guy).

Rafe asked time and time again that evening and the next day that I buy one for him – so eventually to stop him asking I said that it was very expensive and he was actually still too small for it but if we saved some money every month then maybe by next Christmas we would have enough to buy one. I thought he would obsess about saving for a day or two and forget all about it. How wrong i was – it is 10 months later and he still picks up every 5 cent he finds to put in his money box so he can buy his dinosaur. He may have no concept about monetary value BUT he definitely understands the value of money and saving. I am very proud of him and rightfully shamed at assuming his dreams are fickle.

He will be getting his Robot this Christmas – it is not new out of the box, I have managed to buy one second hand at what I feel is a good deal and the price is one that I think we can relax about and let him play with his toy rather than moan at him the whole time to be careful with it etc.

I am excited about this Christmas for the first time in very long – I know my son is going to not care what everyone else got and just be in love with what he got. Christmas is about more than the cost – I do know this but the cost of Christmas and not being able to take part like so many around us has always been a rather dark cloud of stress and disappointment over me.

When I’m an old lady, I’ll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness…just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they’ve provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they’ll be so excited!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I’ll bounce on the furniture…wearing my shoes.
I’ll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I’ll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they’ll shout!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they’re on the phone and just out of reach,
I’ll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they’ll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I’ll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I’ll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry…I’ll run…if I’m able!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll sit close to the TV, through the channels I’ll click,
I’ll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I’ll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud ’til the end of the day!
(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I’ll lay back and sigh,
I’ll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, “She’s so sweet when she’s sleeping!”