Earth Babies Blog

I think most people realise the magnitude of becoming a parent, and the responsibility – the lifetime significance of it. We think about it from our own point of view and imagine our children growing older and how that will affect us and all realize that even 30+years down the line they will still be our baby and we will still be their mom/dad.

Have you ever sat down and thought of it from their side, how big a part you are of who they are. Think about your own parents how even all grown up and living your life you still need them. I never imagined that my own children would never get to love or be loved by my own parents – that ‘taken for granted’ was intricately woven into my dream of a family and children of my own.

My parents died in 2002 I was 27, married, working and already been out of the house and ‘independant’ for 10 years. I had been in hostel so from std 4 till std 9 I only saw them week-ends. In std 9 they moved to Zimbabwe but I chose to stay at the school I knew in South Africa so from there I only saw them holidays, once studying and then working we saw each other 2 or 3 times a year – sometimes more when they would climb in the car on a Friday and drive 1000km to surprise us on our birthdays or simply to take us out to supper on the Saturday evening and then drive the 1000km back home on the Sunday.

The distance and erratic time together never changed anything though, they were still my parents, I still needed them and depended on them to be my ‘safe place’ even if only in voice over the phone. I knew everyday that they were there thinking about us and loving us.

They have been gone for 7 years now you would think after all this time I would have stopped feeling that need to hear their voice and just feel safe and ‘home’ again – I haven’t though, that feeling is just as strong today as it was when I was a child.
I did not speak openly about what was going on in my life with my parents, they were never my confidante, they were never the ones I felt I could tell anything to BUT they were the place I knew I could always go to feel loved, protected and accepted just as I am. They knew when I was not at my best but never pushed for answers or tried to fix things or pushed me in any direction that they felt would be best for me. They were simply there for me quietly supportive and loving and understanding..

What got my train of thought going in this direction (apart from needing to hear their voice) – last night a friend’s husband stopped at my gate to quickly pick something up and when I asked how he was his answer was ‘Not so good today’, his father had had a stroke and died and that large, strong, older man stood there tears in his eyes looking broken at the loss of a parent.

A child no matter how old remains the child to a parent – not only in the eyes of the parent but also in the heart of the child.

5 Responses to “The significance of being a parent”